sorry, can't help but agree with Tinks - that last post was assertive! you've just gotta put that into practice when the time comes!

i like your suggestions re smokers too Tinks

Teni - you've probably got more reason than most of us to step up and say it how you want it when this baby arrives. your last birth and post birth experience was completely out of your control, and you have every right to want to take that back this time! if people can't respect that, then they don't deserve to be there with you in the first days/weeks.

my mum thought she could settle DD better than i could when she visited - she got the short end of that VERY quickly. FFS MUM - MY baby, MY rules.

my only suggestion is to have baby at arms reach at the start of visiting hours (if not already in your arms) so that, if s/he stirs, you can be right there before anyone else. Even if s/he isn't due for a feed, when people arrive, you can always say that you're almost ready to feed and as soon as bub squeaks, you can put him/her on the breast. don't be afraid to say "it's not a game of pass the parcel or keepings off". you can still be friendly but forceful and get your point across

oh, and don't forget - you may feel like you can't stand up for yourself or your baby, but i can guarantee you that your protective mumma bear instincts will come out when need be - and if you're really worried, talk to PZ about being there for the first visiting hours - if she can help you to stand up to the Ob's during your birth, i'm sure she can help you stand up to family!

oh yeah, you'll learn to say your own version of "sorry to be rude, but i'm going to bed/going to BF/need a break, see ya" and give people no choice but to leave. i love that DD preferred to feed laying in bed in the early days, so i was forever heading off to bed to feed her (even when she didn't need feeding - i just needed space!)