We sent around a text message to everyone when DD was born saying " baby has arrived, mum and bub fine, we will let people know when we're ready for visitors" that also applied to when we got home. I personally hate it when people go to the hospital, for me its the biggest intrusion, its the only time you have the ability to really relax with your new baby before you go back to your real life.
I was pretty upfront with people about wearing strong perfume/aftershave. If I thought it was too strong I did ask for people to wash their wrists and neck (well it was really only my mum) if they wanted to hold DD. The smokers were asked to wash their hands but they were all pretty good.
I was pretty inhospitable for the first 8 weeks (I had some issues unresovled) and I think I had a good F Off face
Oh in regards to MW's policing, I guess some hossys are better at that than others, our MWs said they were not going to police the halls and unwanted visitors were our own problem!

But back to your question, sorry for rambl;ing, just send a message saying when you're up for visitors you'll let people know .... OR simply do not tell anyone when you go in in the first place until your rested and up for visitors

Nae x