I don't think it's too much to have ideas on what you want to happen. I think a lot of people would get offended by the idea of a physical 'list'. But I like the idea of having the list written for yourself, and simply bringing things up as the issue arises. So if someone goes out for a smoke, saying something like "oh just FYI, when you come back can you please wash your hands, just for the baby? Thanks". My mum is a smoker (trying to quit) but I said to her I won't like it if she smokes when bubs is with her. Her solution? No smoking half an hour before seeing bub, and she's even going to get some cheap disposable medical gowns to put on her front when holding bub if she's smoked that day. Not expecting that but good in her! So people may surprise you.