I can see where your coming from and before i had DD i thought the same, had a birth plan that listed all these things i did and didnt want to happen. I read all the books, educated myself quite well i think. had a plan. had DP clued up a bit and thought it woul be different for me....all these people who let them selves be walked on by thier carers or dont educate them selves...how silly...not me!!!

How wrong i was!

I didnt take into account how uncontrolable things are when its actually going on.....my birth plan was never read, DP forget everything we had talked about, I forgot everything we had talked about and read. being told to jump be the midwives and just sheepishly asking 'how high'. It all just went out the window! like a little snow ball, turning into an avalanch(sp)...before i know it i had needles in my arms, an epidural, on the bed on my back!! and there goes my first birth...not how i planned at all....but none the less a beautiful day as i had my precious DD and a family i had always dreamed of.....

needless to say, next time will be different, the only difference is that next time i know what to expect, I know what i will be like if i dont stick up for myself and try to achieve what i want and that next time i will have a doula!!!!! to be the third party i need to make sure i dont end up in the state i did before......unless its unavoidable of course, because thats the main thing i learned-you never know whats going to happen and each birth is so different and you CAN NOT PLAN for it really, only set your self up as best you can to get the outcome you think youd most like.

Good luck and welcome to BB