I don't know if it's FIRST births in itself, but FEAR of the unknown that gets people in situations where they give into their ob/middy/hossy because they don't know any better and have not thought to learn during their pregnancy!

Do your research & read birth & labour stories. Find what appeals most to you, your comfort zone. Ring midwives, hospitals, etc, see what they offer, and what pricing plans are available. Do NOT worry about what your family think, if you want to be at home, do it. YOU are having this baby, YOU are having this pain, YOU need to be in your comfort zone, NOT THEM! Hubby on the other hand, you will want him on side, so research. Ask him to go to an interview with a middy or a tour of the birthing centre, etc, with an open mind.

Read labour stories, and google episiotomies, vitamin k, everything and anything at all, and read the pro's and the con's.

A lot of ladies seem to go into pregnancy and birth seeming to have the total trust in the medical system (on the surface, why wouldn't you? one would like to think they work in our health's interest, but unfortunately it doesn't always seem the case). This total trust allows the patient to follow every instruction or precaution the doc/ob/nurse says, without questioning WHY SHOULD I, or what happens IF I DO NOT, or asking I DONT UNDERSTAND. End result can often be learning in hindsight that perhaps some interventions weren't necessary, or that really they weren't given a choice, or had a lack-of-information. One friend of mine was telling me about her labour on her back on the bed, docs had put her there, I got out the Sit Up & Take Notice book on birthing positions, and showed her how she'd been cheated of an extra 2cm room for baby to pass through when the tailbone lifts up, she was shocked! She was also all over checking out our placenta which we kept, as she'd not been given a chance to even look at hers!

End of the day, knowledge is power. Do your research, and you'll get the birth you want. And if interventions come into it, you'll be educated enough to make the choices necessary, and feel comfortable making them too!