scooby, i can understand your indecision. i didn't have as traumatic a time as you, but had an episiotomy that took 9 months to close and has healed 'messy'.
this has been on my mind too, as i get closer to birth, and for me, it is a matter of being more afraid of a CS. my midwife is supportive of me trying to avoid being cut, and helping me stretch thru massage and hot compresses and tear naturally if unavoidable.
i can see tho, if i had all the other complications you did, a CS would be more appealing. i would just make it clear that you want as much contact with your bub as possible, as early as possible. my DS was also only given to me for a short while due to being a bit 'flat', and while he was ok and didn't leave the room, i felt that i missed out.
i hope that helps and that you have a better experience this time around