Hi Scooby

Statistics are one thing but our feelings are more important. There is no point going through the pregnancy being scared of the birth so I think I would try to work out what makes me less scared and go with that.

It's a very personal decision and not one that you have to justify to anyone else.

I think your main concern is the tearing and the fact that you've been told that you have a short perineal area. Unfortunately, that's a topic that I know nothing about so I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes but I'm strongly leaning towards the caesar.

I'm not in the exact same situation but one that is fairly similar. I had pelvic instability with DD from 28 weeks. During the labour I pushed for 2.5 hours with my legs up against my chest which was followed by forceps. This was the absolute worst way of delivering a baby with pelvic instability (which I didn't know at the time). As a result, I was in pain for six months after DD's birth and almost lost my relationship.

Now, to me I look at those facts and the thought of having to go through the six months of pain (on top of the pain throughout the pregnancy) makes me seriously consider having a caesarean next time around if my choice was caeasarean or prolonged pushing/forceps. The 'good' thing for me is that I'll obviously be able to opt for a trial by labour but if the baby gets stuck, I think if I was given a choice I'd go for a caesar rather than forceps. Not because having forceps was horrible, it wasn't, but I think it added to the pain of the pelvic instability afterwards. I weigh up six weeks of pain from the caesar and six months of pain from the pelvic instability and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what I'd prefer.

Your situation is different in that the birth could go well but you could still tear at the end and by that stage you won't have a choice of alternatives.

As I said before, the medical facts are one thing, but how you feel is as/more important so don't disregard your emotions, listen to them.