PN, so many of your fears about c/section sound like what was going on in my head with DS. I had planned a calmbirth, read everything I could, didn't want a c/s at all for a lot of the reasons you have written. At 37wks I was told I would need a c/s and was devastated. I didn't have long to get my head around it. It is harder for all the reasons you mentioned. DS was born at 5.40pm and I didn't see him until 7pm apart from a quick 10 second cuddle when they whisked him away because they were concerned about his breathing. Apgar was 4 at 1min, 9 at 5min. He was fine, and with DH in my room when I got back but it was a lonely experience being stitched up and then taken to recovery. They did keep me up to date with where DS was and how he was, but I just desperately wanted to see him. I was told before the birth that DS wouldn't be able to stay with me in recovery anyway as there wasn't a midwife available for that extra hour as delivery suite was full. I will be putting it in my birth plan again that I want skin to skin in recovery, but I know that at my hospital that it depends if there is a midwife available for that extra time. Definitely something for you to ask about and request.

As for b/f, it took about 6 days for my milk to come in. I felt like my whole time in hospital was spent feeding and expressing. As for the recovery, that was just long. I didn't drive for 7 weeks because I didn't feel well enough to.
There are definitely a lot of negatives to a c/section and I think all of your fears are understandable. But at the end of the day, with the extra effort put into feeding and a supportive DH I didn't feel like it was all bad. DS and I bonded in hospital with lots of skin to skin over those 5 days, lots of feeding and cuddles. I asked for minimal visitors as I just wanted to rest and didn't want to play pass the parcel with DS because getting b/f established was too important and didn't want to be dealing with constant interruptions. I guess at the end of the day I didn't feel like we suffered terrible setbacks due to the c/s and DS and I went on to have a great b/f run of over 12 months and bonded quickly. It wasn't perfect, but my aim was to try not to let it effect us as much as possible.

That being said, I am having a c/s in 5 weeks and I'm terrified, all the same fears as last time even though I know it can all work out perfectly fine. Maybe it's because this time I have the added responsibility and needs of DS. I am concerned about being able to focus on all the same things I did last time when I wont have as much time on my hands and DS will still need my attention. I am still trying to prepare myself mentally for what is coming. I know I will get there and everything will work out. I have told DH about my concerns and I know I have his full support and he will do whatever he can for me.
Just know, that I don't think your fears are irrational especially when all those things you mentioned are so important to you.
Good luck at your counselling tonight and I hope you can find some peace of mind before the big day arrives.