Lulu - so sorry to hear that there are some more hurdles in the way - but hopefully you will be jumping over them soon and that BFP wont be far away. Don't forget we're always thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes your way. Take care. xoxo
Had my IUI yesterday (as the pick-up/transfer was cancelled because I only had 4 follicles). There are three good sized follicles so I'm hoping at least one of those has a beautiful big egg waiting to do it's thing! Of course the FS did comment yesterday that as he gave the go ahead for the IUI that it's his fault if I end up with triplets! LOL!
Anyway, now keeping everything crossed and waiting for test day which is 18th May. Would make THE BEST birthday present!
Marg - still have my fingers crossed for you that it's BFP!!
Anney - hows things??
Lissie - hi to you too!!
I think I've spent a lot of time lately just reading through posts and having an absolute whinge in the 'Boo hoo room'. Can't believe our luck lately - I think we were hit with so many things at once my immune system said 'stuff this, you're getting a cold.'
At least now I feel more comfortable about the way things are heading with our SD, even if it took mass panic to get us to see our FS. I was thinking the other day that there is a huge difference between using an unknown and known donor that I had no concept of until we started this process.
With an unknown donor the person has already made the decision and gone through the process. With known, we all go through the process together - and life happens in the meantime, with all it's ups and downs. I suppose the other frustration is that when it is your partner you know it is your priority to get the tests done and find out all you can. With a known donor it's one step removed, and you don't have the same control.
Is this how everyone else has found it when they know their donor? How have you overcome the communication issues?
I'm waiting for my body to recover, then I'm going to start a exercise/health program. Wish me luck!!
I do know what your are going thru with your known donor in a way. Up until now I have been using an anonymous donor. This was not my first choice. I know for me its quite different from you as I am single. My choice is for my child to know their donor father.
My known donor decided long after I started this long journey. He was bloodtested etc and frozen 6mths ago, he is now 'cooked' so to speak. He is also single. We have had many many long and involved conversations and emails with regards to the future and his role in the childs life. See with me - I want his involvement. Although I have some frozen embies left, I have chosen to do a whole fresh cycle (yes can you believe I am volunteering for 2 needles a day again!!) so I can use his 'stuff'.
Obviously, your scenario is quite different and difficult. I wonder if you are still waitlisted for a donor. I was so disheartened when I was waitlisted - but it took less then 10mths. Also...did u know that some clinics import the 'stuff' from the states so there is no waitlist..?? Anyway..whatever the scenario - it's all so so hard..
Hi Lulu, it was interesting to see that your preference is a known donor. I started off with that way of thinking a few years ago but have kinda gravitated the other way lately! Unless I could find a known donor where we could agree on pretty much 99% of everything, then I have my reservations. At least the other way I get to make all the decisions! LOL! Of course from the child's point of view I think it would be nice for them to know who their father is from day one. It is such a difficult path to go down sometimes and to know what the right thing is to do. Having said that, I do have a friend who has offered to donate BUT he lives 2 hours away and I think he is the one that is going to struggle not being closer to his child. It's never simple!!!
Gargy - good luck with the health/fitness program - sending you lots of healthy and positive vibes! I also think it's the control factor that worries me most about a known donor. It means putting trust in someone else when we are playing with pretty high stakes - which of course is a baby. But I guess we have to find the best way to manage whatever obstacles are thrown in front of us - because when we are holding that precious bub in our arms it will all have been worth it.
As for me and this current cycle, I'm in the TWW and going slowly mad! The Clinic want me to do a HPT on Fri 18th May - seems like forever away! I had my last pregnyl injection last night so now it's just wait and see if Mother Nature has done her thing!
I've decided to sneak a HPT on Tue the 15th - only coz it's my birthday and there is only ONE birthday present I want. I guess it will either make my birthday ultra special or I'll have the most miserable birthday ever! I know, I'm crazy!!!!!
I have lots of reasons for preferring a known donor over unknown. See..not sure if you know this but a donor is always a donor in the eyes of the law. He doesnt get put on the birth certificate and has absolutely no jurisdiction within the childs life. Even if something were to happen to me, the child would be left in the care of my sister should I specify in my will - he has no say as in he is not legally recognised as the legal father. This obviously is only the case if there is no 'sex' to create the child.
I made it clear to him that I would rather have an anonymous donor then a known one who has no interest in the child - I am always thinking how the child will feel later down the track. He has no financial responsibility. Should he want to help or buy the child clothes/books etc he is most welcome..he said he has every intention of this. I know he will be a rather active father figure - well as much or little as we agree later and I would like this for my child, remembering again that at no time will he be legally recognised so the ball is in my court. I know he will be a good dad and wants to see the child weekly minimum.
I guess I am going down this track because I know I will not/cannot really have trouble from him with regards to custody. He has absolutely no interest in having a child live with him full time. He is is a relationship and is very very content. In saying that..he really wants this child.
When I got pregnant he was pretty devasted. I told him that I could not sit and wait another 6mths till his sperm was 'cooked'. I had no choice but to start with the donor.
Now that I am sadly no longer pregnant - well he gets the opportunity and is thrilled.
When I wrote my post I was thinking about the things that you don't know about until you are actually going through the process. As you know, our method of conception has changed so much over the past few years it would make your head spin!
Obviously DH would have been the first choice, but unfortunately this wasn't possible. Then we went down the known until we realised it wouldn't work with DH's brother. Then we went down the unknown and this didn't work, and was no longer possible. Then our friend offered out of the blue.
I think I grabbed onto this offer because it felt like divine timing/sychronicity (whatever you want to call it). A friend that had our ideals and understood his role in the process, probably far better than I do. A person that would be like a godfather, around, but not daily in the baby's life.
I still feel this way which is why I don't want to go onto a waiting list yet - I believe that our SD will get his act together and go through the process eventually (just not on my schedule). TBH he's always been this way, but always comes through for me in the end. And I have some issues with patience anyway (if you couldn't already tell!!)
And I think I also have a few issues to work on in the meantime, including weight and health. Since having the 2 IUIs I've had a gallbladder and tonsils removed within 6 months. And I'm not in my optimal weight range by any stretch of the imagination - which makes me wonder if this was an issue the previous 2 times for IUI. I'm thinking that the 6 months of waiting time could definitely be used to improve my health. (Now I've just got to put this into action - always my issue LOL).
I totally understand you going with the known donor thing..he sounds perfect. I hope I didnt say the wrong thing regarding the anonymous donor..I just know the waitlists are so bad that's all.
I am now sitting not so patiently waiting for AF after my d&c - considering that I am 16days after today and still spotting...a long long 2 weeks.
Hi girls
I'm trying to catch up atm - have been AWOL for quite a while - a lot has been happening.
Just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your losses Lulu - but happy you now have 2 on board!!
I'll be back later for personals - after I catch up!!
PS My ED, Heather, and I finally met IRL a few weeks ago after 6 months of talking. She spent a week here, along with her gorgeous 5 month old daughter. We now have all of our counselling out of the way and she'll be back in 10 days for the drup pickup. We're looking at cycling late September.
BBL
I know, I'm crazy!!!!! 
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