Just a quick post – will come back to this when I get home from work.

I've gone through a lot emotionally in the last few years, more sometimes that I thought I could handle - but as my mother used to say "the universe will not throw anything at you that you can't handle".

I've learnt, primarily in the last 15 months, to acknowledge, own and release my emotions. I will laugh, cry, get angry, love etc, but I also look at where those emotions are coming from, question those feelings that I really shouldn’t be having but am reacting to other people.

I came out on an emotionally abusive marriage, thought that I deserved all that he had done to me, because I was a weak person. But looking back I realised that it was what he wanted me to believe, what he did was took a strong woman and nearly destroyed that person. I have taken responsibility for allowing that to happen, no I’m not saying I deserved it but taking responsibility for how I reacted to it. I am responsible for not standing up to his treatment and his behaviour earlier, to buying into his mother’s belief about her son (that it was all because he had ADD). But when I started to look at how I was handling things emotionally, I realised that I wasn’t the person I knew I was or should be. My marriage was a learning experience and I did learn from it, I've grown as a person because of what he put me through, and is continuing to put me through.