Arcadia you'll begin to think I am stalking you!

When I was planning a homebirth, I was interrogated by EVERYONE about my reasoning, and the process of listening to their experiences made me feel stronger in my own conviction. I know for a fact my own experience then changed the minds of many around me, even when they weren't expecting it, or 'looking' for advice, but were just receptive to hearing what I experienced itms?
I get this very much. My SIL FF all her kids from about 6 weeks & introduced solids early etc etc. I was very convicted to my choice to long term bf etc etc. I chose a home birth & then a birth centre birth/waterbirths etc etc. I spoke openly about my choices and why. I refused to toe the line that it was not "normal" & I was a "hippy" etc etc. Gradually my SIL began to ask questions. With her last baby she bf for longer and finally one day admitted that she had "wished" she was strong enough to "fight" the tide and have a natural birth. I think we serve noone by not speaking about our experiences. Our views. I think we provide a dfisservice to other women. Many women believe that they have to do what the dr says. They don't understand there can be a choice. the same with vax. It goes on and on. If we all just nod and say ok without gently asking - nothing changes. I dont' want my daughters to have to fight to give birth instinctively. I will fight that fight for them!

I know the example provided about the c-sec thread was different (and I have seen similar threads before), but I think often a hoo-har occurs because someone wasn't looking for advice or even a countering opinion, but received it anyway. And I truly wonder if that is a bad thing? I TOTALLY agree with rules of engagement being necessary and if you can't add value or say something constructive, then don't say anything, but I honestly think very hard before posting and feel I have a right to contribute to some discussions (obviously only the ones that I have any knowledge/experience in) and I don't always agree with the consensus of viewpoints.
And I think you do Arcadia & I think I do. I think we all have that right. I think that that is what discussion is about. I also disagree with those that believe that debate shouldn't happen. Without debate we often don't toss around ideas. Debate is respectful - we might disagree heartily - but debate is about learning. I believe the fear of debate is a fear of conflict. Debate and conflict are very different things.

I know, that sometimes we're not receptive to the voices of others, but I am wondering why that is. I think this goes back to the idea of a community also being a 'safe' haven for some, and I can see that asking people to shift their views can be scary.
It is always scary to let go of a comfortable way of thinking. It IS scary. I think sometimes the reason we are not receptive is that we want to hold on to "right" or "our" view. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence to always be open to others way of seeing things. That is something I think we all need practise with...

This discussion reminds me of other social movements gone before us, such as feminists, where other women became some of the strongest opponents of female liberation from gendered roles. Their receptiveness to calls for change were not there and that intrigues me.
EXACTLY! I often think this. We human Beings have this ingrained fear that if we accept there is a different way we may be "wrong". I see that - but it intrigues me also that we will hold on like pit bulls rather than saying: Mmmm I can see it's working for her - maybe there is something in it. I've heard women say: "I can't give birth vaginally because my hips are too small"... But there is nothing to support that but an opinion. To investigate that opinion can be too scary to many many women. Because it opens up choice perhaps - then it's too hard? Or we're afraid of not being supported? Or there is too much else on our plate? Whatever it is we will keep telling ourself a story - whatever that story is that is comfortable. It['s projection. Humans are masters at projecting their ideas into belief.

I hope that community can be BOTH supportive and a vehicle for change, but I think that requires receptiveness to the opinions of others. Perhaps not ALL the time (like when the thread is titled VENT or Support needed), but if it is a genuine discussion point, I feel the need to be excused from automatically joining in the consenus
I agree. I think it is intriguing how we can't hear the opinions of others & decide if we are comfortable - accept it or reject it without anger.

Trillian - you are a strong woman with strong opinions. Never change that. I don't always agree with you but I have never not respected you. Because you have incredible emotional intelligence. I have rarely seen you over react. You are level & measured. I think you are an inspiration so just know that...