Thanks Jennifer. It really helps to have all the unbiased oppinions & different pieces of advice.

DH & I are talking about him moving out for a while. That way we can get the one on one time with her. eg, she stays with him one night & the other 2 stay with him the next night.
It would also mean he isn't around her as much, so he might not lose his temper with her as easy.
I do realise that it might make things worse. If it does then he would come back home, its just hard to do the relaxed, calm thing when he can't. & he can't stay out of it when I'm trying.
I dunno if it will happen. Just an idea.