Hi there, I know I am weighing in late Skye but have been following along.
I really think a positive parenting program would really help.
I am just wondering where you got the 'ignore everything she does' advice.
Children need attention and guidance through all of the things they try - whether we think the behaviour is 'good' or 'bad'. They are really just testing and learning about their environment and everything they come across.
A PPP program is less confronting then going to a psychologist. But I definitely think you need some good, logical and positive guidance by someone who can help with your particular situation.
Good luck!