Can I bag out other sites??

[Roryrory]

The advice was that holding is for feeding, floor is for play and cot is for sleep.

Wow, that is harsh

Personally I have cuddled both my boys to sleep and LOVE cuddling them while they snooze, but at the same time have put them to bed in their own cot (in our room) and do not baby-wear. Why do these sorts of sites have to polarise parenting so much? Its not like you have to do EVERYTHING that gentle parenting might suggest (such as co-sleeping) but why can't these pro-detatched parenting sites take a little from other ways of doing things?

[Lucy]

Rory, I agree.

Why does there have to be a particular 'school of parenting' that a mummy fits into?

I am like a magpie: I pick and chose the concepts I like from all sorts of avenues of advice.

I am also a firm believer on being gentle on all other Mums, as well as gentle with my children........

[meow]

I am also a firm believer on being gentle on all other Mums, as well as gentle with my children........

So true- I agree. That is why it bothered me so much that this site was so firm in it's directions, many of which go against a mother's instincts. Such as giving you the impression that if you let your baby fall asleep in your arms just once then problems will occur. I feel so sad for women that the instinct of mothering is being questioned and women are left questioning themselves and feeling like failures rather than feeling empowered.

[River]

Rory, I agree.

Why does there have to be a particular 'school of parenting' that a mummy fits into?

I am like a magpie: I pick and chose the concepts I like from all sorts of avenues of advice.

I am also a firm believer on being gentle on all other Mums, as well as gentle with my children........

I completely agree. I don't like the lables given to parents....gentle parent, attatchment parent etc. It makes one feel judged if not conforming to the entire ethos. It gives parents a heck of a lot to live up to. I don't like any concept which states categorically that one way is the absolute right way to do it.

Eye contact limitations in the middle of the night might work for some and not for others. To say that it's horrible or cruel is harsh. Some babies get overstimulated by it, some babies need to look into their mothers eyes to fall asleep. That is why parents need to follow their instincts with parenting.

How bad would it be for a mother to read comments about how cruel it is to not give eye contact at night and go against her instincts which are telling her that her baby just doesn't settle at night being overstimulated? Less sleep all around and teaching Mum to ignore her instincts.

I think that as long as parents have the best interest of the child at heart, are listening to themselves first and advice second, they are wonderful parents, regardless of where they *technically* fall in the world of lables.

JMO of course .

[Bathsheba]

Yes! Here Here River! perfectly said as usual! Exactly what I was attempting to say in my post.

ETA: dang gotta share the love matey, I'll come back and give the Rep when I can!