I get really shirty when I read, 'this too shall pass'. And I read it on here heaps. Personally, it doesn't give me any comfort whatsoever.
Really? I find it's just the kick in the arse I need! It reminds me that I am more than just this moment in time and that I have overcome some huge things in the past and have the resources to continue doing so
I like it because it makes sense and is a real truism. The saying HM=HB just has no sense for me - it's a 'nothing' to me that says "just keep telling yourself that, honey" and offers very little real support or understanding, as discussed earlier. I dont' think anyone has used it for me before and I would be bewildered if someone did, cos I'm not looking for neutrality - I like people to give me real reasons and real feedback. Otherwise, don't bother! And that's just for me - others definitely feel differently and WANT to hear this because they've already decided.
Like I agreed earlier, fulfilment of the mother as a functioning person in her own right need not happen at the expense of the mother-baby dyad. To me, there is no sound reason to separate the entities as having distinct interests during this infancy stage (or beyond, for that matter). To render them distinctly separate confounds the issues the mother is dealing with and doesn't address the problem she has in relating to her new role (whether she's a first timer, or a mother of many accommodating a new soul into her life - to me, every child redefines the mother's role, first or subsequent), in my own opinion and informed thought based on my learnings about infant-mother attachment and development during the lifespan.
See? I can be intellectual and not pine for my pre-baby days! I feel DS has added a new dimension to my world and given me new things to learn about