See, I actually feel like whenever someone talks about how fulfillment can be achieved, but should not be at the expense of the child, I wonder if we do really respect that we're not always going to feel exactly the same way about these things. I did not find being a SAHM mum fulfilling, not in the same way I now find being a working woman, a mum to 4 kids and part-time student to be fulfilling.

And to me, it's not about relating to a new role either. I have had three children earlier in my life, been a SAHM, been infertile, had another child later in life, and I don't have any problems with adapting to the role of being a mother. I've been one for almost 19 years.

I don't look at SAHMs and say you must be unfulfilled because you aren't living my life. I also wouldn't expect anyone to imply that perhaps if I'd tried a bit harder, perhaps I would have found fulfillment being a SAHM.

That you are fulfilled being a SAHM is great for you. But I'm not you. I'm not confused about my role, I'm not pining for my pre-baby days, I just like my life just the way it is right now - which includes challenging work, some study to keep my brain ticking over, and my son not necessarily being with me 24/7. And that's because we are all different.

I don't believe that my fulfillment is at my children's detriment btw, either. And I think it's when someone implies that by somehow not always putting your child's needs absolutely before your own, you're not as self-sacrificing as someone who does manage to find staying at home fulfilling, that some of the participants of this thread start to get upset.