Sushee i wasn't implying anyone should have tried harder and found fulfilment - you ARE fulfilled. I'd rather be doing what i am, and you'd rather be doing what you are. You found your way to do it and i don't think i've EVER read you write "HM=HB" in reference to your life situation WRT working or not. And i don't consider myself "more self-sacrificing" because i haven't sacrificed anything. I choose to live how i do, and i'm happy with it. I am not better or worse than any other parent. Can any of us REALLY say we respect another's way of doing something while simultaneously doing something else? I respect your RIGHT to do whatever you want, but if i really thought it was the best thing for me, i'd be doing it too, kwim? If you REALLY respected the importance i place in SAH, you'd be at home too. You KNOW what works best for you, and i know what works best for me. You have never told me to work, even when i've posted about being poor or stressed, you have never once suggested i work, and i know you respect my choices, even if they wouldn't be yours.

I imagine also that if you had been FORCED to be a SAHM for some reason, a woman like you WOULD have found a way to be fulfilled while doing that. I have read so many of your posts and your blog and it's clear you're not a woman who sits around waiting for things to happen, you go out and happen to the world! If you imagine for a second being me, and feeling so strongly that you should SAH with your kid that you CANNOT consider working then you WOULD find a way in that scenario to be fulfilled. If you don't feel you MUST SAH then you will be able to work. For some this isn't simple and they do have to accept doing the best they can to stick to their ideals in a situation they don't much like, and for others it's a far simpler decision.

For me the crux of this MIGHT be the validation point. For me, if i'm online looking for advice that's one thing, but if i'm asking strangers to validate my actions i KNOW i'm doing the wrong thing. If i'm right i know i am, and if i don't know i am i'm usually on the wrong track.

Bx