When my brother 1st left his wife he did want any of us talking to his EX but she was the mother to his 2 girls and I wasn't going to let them slip away. my brother and I used to be very close, now not so much. but it is getting better even though he know that when I am in his state that if she wants to see me then I will go and see her... He no longer asks and I dont tell... other than trying to see your GD when he has her which would be eatting into his time what else are you ment to do, but contact the EX... I think the letter was lovely I wish I had a MIL who would put in the effort to communicate with me, But she has no intrest in me or my girls only likes my son and has no photos of the girls at all even the ones I have given her are in the back room out of sight... sorry bit of a boohoo but she just makes me so mad!!!!

Anyway I hope all will improve for you otherwise you may have to step back a bit and let him come to you....