farmgirl...I think those 'evil' thoughts too...then feel guilty and bad for not being capable of just thinking pure saintly thoughts about others more fortunate than me.

and what you have all said does mirror my own thoughts:

I also think...why us? why all this...and after this recent loss...."haven't we had enough happen this year?"....surely it could have been our turn.

I get angry at others who take their pregnancies for granted...or their children for that matter...and who don't look after themselves and their kids properly...
I even feel resentment towards people who are just lucky enough to fall pregnant quickly...

I am sad that we cant conceive in a spiritual and loving way...that unless we have some miracle, it is all so scientific and beyond our control

I get upset that others just dont get it

and I get upset with myself for getting upset and angry!!

Thank goodness I can come on here and talk with people who do understand and also just simply express some of these feelings. I am meanwhile doing my very best to let go some anger and accept...I am sure that will be easier once I have our forever baby!