Thanks Sue and BG The support is very appreciated

Sue- you are right, being more gentle and less hard on ourselves is something to strive for!

BG- they way you explain it is so spot on...that's just it...the car thing happened, and the prospect of a big cost and suddenly all the other things (IVF, no baby etc) seemed just too much to bear as well...I guess you are right, my careful walls crashed.

Today, like you described, I am close to tears ALL the time and feel so fragile. Hopefully over the weekend I can start rebuilding those walls so things are more manageable again