Hi Zola,
I know what you mean. I never thought this journey was going to be so hard with so much heartache, and so much emotional turmoil. In the last year I have had some of the most difficult times in my life. If I count my early ones ie. one at 4 weeks, one at 5 weeks that m/ced at 7 weeks, one at 5 1/2 weeks I have had three. Am pregnant at the moment. At ultrasound last week I was told that the baby was dead, no heartbeat, no blood flow. Today on repeat u/s we had bloodflow and a slow but present heartbeat, we are just hanging on. I know what it feels like to be told its not "viable" and don't know what to feel at the moment knowing it might be.

Anyway, enough about my story- but it sounds like our journeys certainly have their similarities. The fear of ttc again is huge. It is amazing how so many people have these easy pregnancies. I think one you have an m/c you can heal, but you willl never forget and that there will never be the same excitement about being pregnant as you would be if hadn't have m/ced.

I haven't been posting on this site for long, but already I have found it enormously supportive with heaps of understanding people, and you're so right that you can ball your eyes out and noone will know, and you don't have to hold it together enough to actually talk. I think that is how I feel, is that sometimes it is so hard to talk about it without becoming a blubbering mess,but you can write.

Anyway, take care, and keep posting. Meg