Hey Zola,

Yes, knowing that your babies have died for no reason is awful - it was exactly the same with us and I kind of felt then that it MUST have been my fault somehow - it had to have been something I had done, or didn't do IYKWIM. The guilt factor is an awfully heavy burden to carry.

You and I sound quite alike - I too have battled with depression - pretty much my entire life. There have been a lot of events over the years that have certainly made this worse, and the m/c's are certainly included in that category. I have been on and off anti-depressants and counselling etc etc - the last time I took anti-depressants for over 5 years and it was a slow and difficult process to ween myself off them, but I wanted to be free of them before TTC.

And don't worry about rambling - it's one of the things that I do best LOL and I certainly have made some rather monumental posts myself! The main thing is, that if it helps, then go for it ok?!

Can I ask who your OB is??? Obviously you needn't reveal that information if you're not comfortable in doing so - I would just be interested to know. We were seeing a female last year but gave her the boot in favour of someone else since we were rather displeased with her to say the very least and we really felt that we needed a fresh start if that makes sense.