LMS - thanks for your words termination is not something i want to do again or wish upon anyone else it is not nice and stays with you forever i feel. I'm just needing some support from outside my R.ship and yes ultimately i'm the one that is going to have to make a decision but i don't want to loose a family over it either. I want to be a new mum again I just wish my DP could see that, and understand that. He needs to deal with his issues of having another child and having to be responsible.