You did good luce. And she is a very mature girl. You give her the right amount of trust and I think thats perfect. I would be pretty disgusted at the mother to allow such goings on. The poor kids of us hooligans they will be lucky to get away with anything I even have chats now with Paris at 6 about how appropriate certain behaviour it is and how dangerous other behaviour is. She'll tell anyone who asks how dangerous it is for teenagers to drink LOL lets hope it stays in her brain whilst she's got hormones and peer pressure to deal with And I can only hope that Paris and I will have the lines of communication as open as yours and your DD. You did good mumma real good!
Just wanted to say well done Lulu you did the right thing. I know i am going to go throught this in just a few years and i hope i can deal with things as you have. I posted this is another thread but thought it might be appropriate to copy it to here also. Well done again. Maybe you should print this off and give it to the mum that held the party.
Mean Mums
Someday when my children are old enough to
Understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
Tell them, as my Mean Mum told me: I loved you
Enough . . To ask where you were going, with whom,
And what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
Discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
While you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
Disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
Learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
Responsibility for your actions even when the
Penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . To say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
Glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
Understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mum mean? I know mine was. We had the
Meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
Ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twisties for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
Different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
Times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
Had to know who our friends were, and what we were
Doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
Would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
To break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We
Had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
Cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
And all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
Awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
Whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
We were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
Eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
When they drove up. They had to come up to the door
So she could meet them. While everyone else could
Date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
Things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
Been caught shoplifting, vandalising other's
Property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
Honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
Parents just like Mum was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean mums!
I think you absolutely did the right thing. I'd personally tell her that she needs to prove to you that when she says she won't drink, she won't and the only way she can prove that is if you pick her up. Then maybe when that trust is proven you'll allow her to stay over at another party when she's older. MAYBE.
I also think that sometimes teens need an 'out'. What I mean is that they can't say to their friends, 'nah, I want to go home at the end of the night' they have to do the 'ask'. Much easier to say to their friends 'no, I want to stay but mum won't let me,' and blame the parent. That's what we're here for LOL.
A whole bottle of champagne - OMG, that's RIDICULOUS that could be sanctioned at a supervised party.
I watched the show on binge drinking recently and what really stuck in my mind was that when the hospital staff would ring teenager's parents to come pick them up from the hospital, a lot of parents said they couldn't drive because they were over the limit themselves. So sad.
ROFL about relying on your own parenting! I've been on my own since day 1! It just gets easier and easier because you aren't thinking about what someone else would do and you just get on with parenting your child the right way for the both of you.
I'd be disgusted at that level of drinking at a party. Maybe I'm naive, but I'd expect a teen alcohol party to be a bottle of low-alcohol wine per 3-4 girls and maybe a couple of bottles of low-alcohol beer per boy. That's what we had - although some still managed to get drunk, it was not sanctioned.
Fiona, just an aside: "I'm over the limit" for driving is, in the UK at least, usually "I've had a large glass of wine." I approve of this because people downplay alcohol dangers. Well done on those parents for being honest, when I was younger no-one would ever think like that. Of course, if they mean they're blotto then yes, stupid them.
I even have chats now with Paris at 6 about how appropriate certain behaviour it is and how dangerous other behaviour is. She'll tell anyone who asks how dangerous it is for teenagers to drink LOL lets hope it stays in her brain whilst she's got hormones and peer pressure to deal with
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