I never realised just how hard Christmas would be!!!! It was supposed to be so different! I almost feel like I just can't do this. I want to go to sleep and never wake up - it is just too painful. I miss my little boy so much and I don't know how to cope with him not being here. I thought I was being so strong and doing so well - but I am not.

Sorry for the ranting but I know you will understand and not judge me.