hey girs,
no personals and this will be a cut and paste in both preg and ttc sides sorry! Headspace has completely gone to meltdown, Madisons service is on friday, I knew it was coming sometime around now but this last week seems to have moved so quickly and when i realised that she was going to have her official goodbye the "finality" of the last 3 weeks has proven to be a bit much. Coping in the day and not so great still at night, its the killer. Can't sleep, wake up exhausted the next day. i think that is why i am trying to keep myself busy so i can get my body going. Dh and i have been not so great either, i really just don't think he gets that we both are going through the emotional part but i am dealing with the physical also, and THAT is harder. and he has said when am i going to have time for him, i exploded. I asked him what exactly he had in mind going by what i have been through the last 2 weeks. I'd be 25 weeks this week and that is hard to get out of my mind. I go back to work next week after 3 weeks off and THAT is hard to think about. I don't think i am ready and am really nervous about it...actually,nervous, no....scared to get back out there again. This week has been the realisation of how real my hurt is and i really think the last 2 weeks have been spent in some blind denial. i just don't understand why we had to lose her too. My daughter asked why we can't bring our babies home like everyone else does, how do i answer that? So, i have just avoided being here although i have so far felt it really important to stay here, this week week felt i could'nt cope with it. But today just thought screw it, thats what we are all here for...take care guys!
xx jo