Hey Girls, its pre POAS day for me today and look how well behaved my temp is being

My BB's exploded today as well and the nausea has been getting a bit stronger. I hope I do get a BFP otherwise there is something seriously wrong with me this month!

Its interesting to hear everyone's stories about holding their bubs after birth etc. I was so terrified to see Charlie. When they bought her in I didn't know what to do, I held her and looked at her for a few moments and then went to give her back to the midwife as I wasn't sure how long I was supposed to have her and I was, at that point, completely freaked out by the entire experience and of course in massive shock.

It was actually DH who looked at me like I was on drugs (which I think I was at the time) and said what are you doing, lets keep her here with us for awhile. The the Dr and midwife left and we stayed with her for awhile, to be honest I can't remember how long it was. Maybe an hour or perhaps a little less.

Over the next few days we went from not wanting a service or anything to planning something quite special. I remember being upset with the Dr for not giving me all the SANDS info etc before we went into the hospital because I could have read it and had time to plan more. In hindsight though I think they give it to you after the birth because you have other stuff to deal with between finding out and the actual birth. In the end I was really comfortable with what we did although you always think of things that you would have like to have done. No different to any other event that you plan I guess.

I'm sure most of you have seen this poem, but for those who haven't I just love it and thought it would be nice to share. We had it read at Charlie's funeral...

These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints,
were meant for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angels tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you give me just a chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the winds,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found in Mummy's heart,
Cause even though I'm gone now,
we'll never be truly apart.

I had a shocking night's sleep last night. I nearly came down to the computer to post at 3am. I was thinking how much I miss Lan around. Getting a BFP won't be the same without her here. I remember I was so jealous of Lan and Jo76 who were due to start ttc at the same time as me, when all my thyroid/progesterone troubles started and I knew we were going to have to wait. I'm glad Megan you are POAS same day, have you had any symptoms or anything, have you got a vibe. Are you POAS tomorrow morning or on Sunday. I don't think I can wait till Sunday.

Plus, I have decided that if I get a BFP tomorrow I am going to the shops with my GF and buying a baby outfit. This baby is coming home with me and thats that!

Sorry for no real personals but I have been reading here and there at work to keep up to date. Will have more time next week.

See you all in the morning with my news, you'll be the third to know after DH, GF!!