AFM: Sigh... CD35 and pretty much no sign of AF, ovulation, or pregnancy. Oh, except for really snippy moods, nausea, and being a little gassy, which could be a symptom of any of them I've done yet another few tests, all negative. Still going to test on Thursday, but now I don't hold too much hope. I'll get Scott to buy me a First Response for my birthday

Also, I had a tiny little breakdown on Saturday while looking at my cousin's baby I wrote more on my blog, but it was just so terrible not being able to cuddle him. I really dislike my cousin for never letting me near him - what am I going to do, steal him? (She doesn't seem to like me much now she's realised I was never one of our nan's favourites - she bloody idolises the woman, especially now she's dead... But that's a whole new thread right there lol)
good luck testing hun.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO!!!!!!

WTF?? ur cousin wont let u cuddle her baby??? its not like ur a psycho!!!! maybe she thinks its easier on u by not cuddling him after what u have been through??? ppl are weird when u go through what we all have.
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Crumpet. Loving the short hair. it is weird but i really needed a makeover and I feel like i have had it like this for years, very comfortable. Glad i did it and feel very proud for being brave!
AFM- CD10 today and preparing my head and body to fall pregnant. Trying to keep a level head.
My thoughts had returned to the adjustment i made when i fell pregnant with DD. I remember being a little sad for leaving the single(married), childless world behind as anyone would. The end of one stage in your life and the begining of another which i longed for, being a mother. I felt guilt for struggling with this adjustment, having tried for so long and wanting a child for so long. I though i had no right to feel thsi way and should have been grateful. I remember thinking wow, i give up so much for this, to be a mother. I got my head around it and grieved a little over that. At that stage i never knew how much my life was going to change. But i think it is really important to aknowledge that this is normal...isn't it. It is ok to feel the whoel array of emotions even if you feel you should be grateful.
Right now like Powelly, i still really want a baby...but i am so very scared. My anger and sadness for losing that innocence will no doubt fade a little over time and affect me less but for now, sometimes it consumes me. Everthing i ever looked forward to is gone. It is taking me a great deal to get through this part. That is ok, hey.
good on u hun!!!!

good luck this cycle have everything crossed for u!!
Crumpet - Mine was day procedure under general anaesthetic at 14 weeks. From the time the wardie took me in to surgery to the time I woke up in recovery was no more than 2 hours, and that also included a fire alarms testing ( when nothing could be done). I might have been overnight if I didn't recover well or the Ob wanted to have me observed but in the end I didn't need to be and to be honest, I felt great after the procedure. Euphoric ( wonder if that was the anaesthetic?). I might have had a catheter in during the procedure, but I didn't have one before or after, that's for sure. I might ask when I see my Ob. I have never had a problem with a catheter, so they don't worry me but if I were to be bed bound I would prefer one! I so wholeheartedly agree with you about the unpleasantness of using a bed pan! Maybe with practice it gets easier and less weird. Hey, I also know what you mean about time going quickly but at the same time dragging! Contradictions are so pervasive on this journey.
i asked to have it under general but my OB wont do it, so its spinal tap and sedation for me.....

the only reason i dont like the thought of a catheter was the memory of having one when in labour with Gus and remembering how much it hurt!! lordy that wasnt pleasant!

hello to everyone, hope ur all travelling along ok.....

seems we have hit another hurdle.......
DH is struggling a little bit atm.....
i know he feels neglected coz im so anti being touched atm, just dont want to be poked and prodded and what not so there goes cuddles on the couch at night, plus no sexy time, plus im a bit of a loose cannon too.....
but he is sad.
he says he is sad, but wont say anymore coz he doesnt want to upset me.....
i keep telling him i dont care and i know he doesnt meant it but he wont say anything else..
last night i got out of him that he just wishes he could come home to me and Gus, not to the dramas of pregnancy again which i understand coz i know its not easy on him.....
its breaking my heart and i wish i knew how to help him...

we are both at the point now where we both fully expect the disappointmet of last time, and both dont expect to have our baby after all of this.....

just another hurdle to jump i suppose *sigh*