Cheryl,
A quick note for you. Hun I am sorry it has been a hard time for you. Of course it is going to make it rough for your relationship sometimes too. Hang in there hun and gather your hope. It won't be long. I have one comment about the alcohol...none of my business but it got me a bit cranky for you. So I feel i have to say my 2 bobs worth. For me Alcohol is a non medical, non science way of handling things...not much different to your alternatives only it might do more damage than good and is a short term fix. Funny how sometimes people find reason to justify all sorts of things.
I have absolutely no doubt you guys will work things out together. Your strength and relationship have got you through so much in the last year. You are an incredible woman and try not to under estimate the effect that the last year can have on you still today and many years from now, give yourself just that little extra time to get your head around things. My recent realisation...I have always said, I am coping really well and doing really well and not allowed myself time to be imperfect as this experience would demand sometimes.
Go easy on yourself special for yourself today if you can. I have been thinking of you a lot in hope it will lighten your load a little.
I hope i have not been too much out of line...please ignore me if i have, good intentions can sometimes be misunderstood when you feel passionately about something.
Love and Peace
HM xoxo

p.s. something that has helped me go through this month and lead up this year has been to write about it. It was inevitable to be living through every step as we did last year and I have used those feelings and thoughts to record it all. It has also meant I have been expressing things and getting it down to remember for years to come. Just in case i might help you. Journaling in the self you are now, but with the memories of last year. xoxoox