OMG!!!!!! Today is turning out to be the best day I have had for a very long time I got a phone call from my new ob at about 10.30am telling me he had the blood test results... and they found something
I have Anticardio Lipin antibody and as soon as he told me I remembered I was told about it on BB. He said I have only low to medium levels but that he can say without a doubt that was the cause of Nicholas' death, and it would also account for his drop from 50th percentile to 25th percentile in the last 2 weeks - which my last ob didn't even pick up. I cried after I hung up the phone, but for the first time in the last four months (4 months on Friday anyway) I cried happy tears - happy that now I can stop blaming myself for pulling myself up on the bench the night I lost him and deep down believing I had killed him, until today - also happy that I have some reasons and answers and that I did the right thing changing obs and maybe that means I am a good mum cause I did everything I could to look after my next baby, even though I couldn't look after Nicholas - I just didn't know anything was wrong though cause all of my tests came back find (apparently, I am starting to wonder now though). My ob said because I will be treated with a low dose of aspirin in my next pregnancy, and with closer monitoring by him and more frequent ultrasounds and blood tests there is no reason why I can't deliver a healthy baby next time (although obviously no guarantees can be given, but I still think it's something to feel positive about). He said he still wants me to have the Saline Infusion Hysterogram but simply as a precaution, he thinks he has found the answers already and that it will show a normal uterus but wants to be 100% positive that this antibody thing is the only problem. I trust he knows what he is doing so I will jump on one leg if he tells me it's for the best, lol.
The only other thing the blood test showed is that I am not immune to chicken pox and apparently that may be because I had it 11 months old and you don't build immunity to until after 12 months. So, I need to have a vaccination but because I am in my TWW I need to wait and see if I either get a bfp or AF. If I get bfp he said I have to very careful in next pregnancy to not come in contact with the virus, but if I get AF I have to get vaccination asap and not try for 6-8 weeks afterwards. He did say he doesnt think that has anything to do with losing Nicholas but that since they have picked it up I may as well take care of the problem so I will not be at risk next time if I do happen to come into contact with the virus.
I was happy after seeing him on Friday, but now I just feel so lucky that I went to him (Thanks again Bec, you have no idea how grateful I am). My last ob didn't think I needed any tests and my new ob says that untreated I have a medium chance of it happening again, probably doesn't sound high but it's high enough that I am not taking that chance. You know what, without having found BB and all of you wise, wonderful women I would have probably ignored that inner voice telling me to seek help and I will never forget what everyone has done for me - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart
DH is now feeling very angry towards last ob and wants to ring him and have a go. I have discouraged him though, I said we need to focus on the positives and just be glad we aren't going back to him. I don't think we will get anywhere ringing and abusing him, plus in the long run it isn't going to make us feel any better so we just need to let it go.
Anyway, sorry I know I have gone on a bit but I am just over the moon today and ready to look forward to welcoming a new baby with open arms. I know that feeling may only last for today and tomorrow or next week or whenever I may fall in a heap again, but I am happy to go with it while I can.
Bec - I hope you are going ok and that you got through Audrey's birthday as best as possible.
Deb - I hope you have a great relaxing holiday with your family, I hope your kids have a ball and I hope you can get to work on creating the next addition to your family.
Nat - I'm sorry about your neighbour being so thoughtless and insensitive, I truly believe that is one positive thing that comes along with such heartache in your life (if anything positive can come of it that is), it teaches you compassion and love for other people, as well as empathy for people hurting inside like or similar to how you are. Unfortunately (or fortunately for her), this lady has no idea what it feels like to go through what you have and I have heard plenty of people saying that to others that I know and I know it upsets them too, I don't understand how they can think anything like that would happen for a GOOD reason as nothing GOOD can come of much wanted babies loss, especially when the number of losses you have had makes it that much more heartbreaking. Don't take her comments to heart, you know how it feels inside and also that you are entitled to feel it so who cares what she says or thinks - easy to say I know :hugs: I wish you all the very best as your start you TTC journey yet again. I hope with all my heart you get that little bundle you so desperately want. Oh and the subway went down pretty well, I am sure the chocolate I pigged out on after that contributed too, lol.
Kirsty - Good luck and all the best for your appointment tomorrow, let us know how you get on.
Spring - I know you can't read posts at the moment but all the same I hope you are doing well in Canberra and good luck with ob recommendation from Mark Umstad.
Clare - How are you doing? I hope you are fit and healthy, and enjoying knowing that little bubba is growing inside.
To anyone I haven't mentioned, I hope you are all well and take care of yourselves.
Love Mel
P.S. Off the subject - went to movies last night and saw The Holiday ... Great movie, very funny, bit of a chick flick but DH still enjoyed it. If anyone is thinking of seeing it, I recommend. Got quite a few well known people in it, and of course Jude Law is pretty nice to look at so that alone makes it worthwhile.
Last edited by Mel1977; January 3rd, 2007 at 11:40 AM.
I got a phone call from my new ob at about 10.30am telling me he had the blood test results... and they found something
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