Lynn - Cooper's garden is beautiful, you guys should be very proud and I am sure Cooper loves it The poems in the journal have me sitting here with tears running down my cheeks, especially "ten tiny toes". We read so many poems planning Nicholas' funeral but I have never read that one, it is one I probably would have chosen. It touches my heart as if I had written it myself. It was nice to see Cooper's hand and foot prints too. How did you create that site? It is beautiful and I would love to do one for Nicholas as I feel it would be honouring his life (as short as it may have been) and also help me.
Kirsty - Hope you are feeling better today, I am not sure how long you feel uncomfortable for after such a procedure but it sounds like it would defnitely make you feel uncomfy for quite a few days. The dr sounds confident that all was good which is great, I am sure it will be fine on the 12th.
Clare - Your m/s sounds pretty bad, hopefully you start to feel a little better soon. I wished you m/s when you got your bfp cause its a good sign that everything is going well, but not quite this much... sorry bout that!
Spring - I thought you had an OB app on 31st? I must have gotten it wrong. Anyway, hope your feeling ok and enjoying your little bean even just a tiny bit cause I know you are probably really anxious as well, I won't wish you morning sickness though cause I did that to Clare and look where she is now! How you settling into Sydney?
Me - I don't know what's wrong with me, I have had a reasonably good couple of days and went to dinner for my mums birthday on Monday and dinner last night with friends and was fine. Today I have the day off and have slept most of the morning, only got up at 1.00 but feel so tired like I haven't slept at all. I have woken up feeling really depressed and have a massive headache. I keep thinking about Friday and getting really upset. I found out I was pregnant on 26th Jan last year and I wasn't all that happy when I found out because we weren't planning it. I was in shock, and worried about how we would afford to have a baby (that lasted about a day or 2 before I fell in love with the idea). Now I am thinking exactly a year ago I thought this, and today I want my baby with me so much and I would give anything to make that happen but he isn't coming back and I just wish so much that I hadn't had those thoughts a year ago because maybe that is why he is gone, maybe it's my punishment for not being happy when I found out. Imagine how poor little Nicholas felt being inside my tummy thinking he wasn't wanted! So anyway, I don't want Friday to come. What a stupid day to get upset about!
A year ago on Friday I was wishing I wasn't pregnant and now I want that so desperately and it is just not working. I don't think it will have worked this month either cause we have been trying and yesterday I had this tender feeling in my tummy, almost really severe bloating with occasional cramping sensations, to the point where I am wondering if I am going to get AF early. It really feels like PM symptoms and I am not due until 5 Feb. Today I don't seem to have as much tenderness but it is still there a little, but the headache I have is shocking. But I should stop whinging, there are people worse off than me I know that.
DH is working late tonight which is just great, the one day I need some company and he has to work late!
The poems in the journal have me sitting here with tears running down my cheeks, especially "ten tiny toes". We read so many poems planning Nicholas' funeral but I have never read that one, it is one I probably would have chosen. It touches my heart as if I had written it myself. It was nice to see Cooper's hand and foot prints too. How did you create that site? It is beautiful and I would love to do one for Nicholas as I feel it would be honouring his life (as short as it may have been) and also help me.
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