Hi Lynn - I figured out how to create a webpage for Nicholas and have done so. I thought it would take forever but I knew exactly how I wanted it to be. It has helped me feel a little better. I want to put it on my signature to show people who I am so proud of and love with all my heart, but I am a bit scared now. I worry what people will think of it, so I will sit on it for a while and think about what to do. I feel so proud of my baby, and although he is not with me he has changed my life so much. We wouldn't even be married right now if it weren't for him showing us what really is important in life - each other, and our families!

I would love to hear Cooper's songs, I don't think I have heard them before although I have heard of the women who sing them. We did play songs at Nicholas' funeral, we played My Immortal - by Evanescence (it is DH favourite song and he wanted it played, only problem is we can't listen to it without crying now), The Rose by Bette Midler and Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton. I find it really difficult to listen to all of those songs, especially My Immortal because it's played on commercial radio all the time so sometimes I am sitting at work and it comes on the radio and I have to go off to the toilet and have a cry :frown:

I think it is a beautiful thing that you have Cooper's garden to go and sit in and I really would love to do something similar myself. The problem for us is that we rent our house and I don't want to do a garden for Nicholas here because if the time ever comes that we move I would be heartbroken having to leave the garden and also thinking what if the next tennant or the landlord got rid of it. Anyway, DH and I are hoping to build our own home in the next year or 2 so maybe it is something I could keep in mind for that time.

Nicholas would be 5 months old on 5 February, which also happens to be the day I am due for AF - It's funny (or not so) how cruel life can be isn't it. So that will be a tough one I think, being upset because Nicholas would have been 5 months and then getting a slap in the face on top of it saying 'haha your not pregnant this month either'!

I can imagine Tuesdays are hard, I am right there with you on the Tuesdays as Nicholas was also born on a Tuesday, I don't find them so hard to get through now but I do think of him on Tuesdays when I wake up (mind you I guess I think of him every day but ykwim). I will be thinking of you on Sunday for Cooper's 2 month birthday. I hope you can find solice in your garden knowing the Cooper is sitting right along side you, you just can't see him