Chez- i slept 11 hours too last night, I hope the TWW goes quickly for you and you can find out whether you have a little surprise waiting for you. xoxo I know i was completely over doing it...i just let myself be and focused that this week i will chill. It felt good making that effort. The best gift i have is love and effort. That is most of what i can give. I have not been able to do that much over the last year. xx Good luck sweety
Dory- yep i am supposed to be taking it easy. I just found that coping meant me going a bit overboard preparing for it...busy busy. I think it is also a feeling of being needed and making it a really special day for her, making the most of every experience. No you haven't miss anything, just didn't think i should be specific for privacy reasons. I can Pm you. It is diagnositc, alternative and looks at the meridians and energy etc. I am looking forward to it.
Beata- I am sorry hun. Sending you love and peace. I hope the days get lighter and you can find what you need within yourself for next week. Never mad at you hun, your truth is what I treasure most.
Blessedatlast- Oh boy you have had so much to handle. I hope you get a good counsellor hun and i hope it helps you through this. Relationships or money not going well can be a huge stress...fills that cup pretty quickly. Friends of mine are going through a hellish time together right now and all i can say from watching them is be as honest as you can about the deep things. I hope your DH can be too. Men can find their brave if they don't give up searching for it. My friends have got caught up in the small everyday things and can never get past them to reach the deeper issues. They are both trying to fix each other all the time. It is really sad. I have hope for you hun. i don't know you or your relationship but knowing a little of what you have been through together, i have much hope that you will find that foundation to build your new life together. Good Luck sweety.
Samcougar- Bu55er hun, That is a shame, i am sorry it was not a goer this month. I love your get up and go attitude though. You are incredible at picking yourself up. Good luck for the coming month.
I have forgotten someone I am sure, Sorry, I have to try and catch up later.
AFM- Well yesterday went well, I think she had a lovely day.
I even mended some issues with my mum...well sort of. I bought her 2 baby chicks for her lovely garden and to say thank you for the things she will give us sometimes. A gift can do wonders for a relationship...although I am still not ready, nor do i know if i ever will be, to let her in as she would like me to. I still have her at arms length and she will just have to be happy with what i can give for now. She wants me to be her baby girl...little girl, child, need her. I am a grown woman with my own family. Anyway...another, long story.
As for the Baby Shower I just tried to stay bubbly and i didn't hold babies or look at them too much. It didn't look out of place luckily as i had lots to do. I didn't stay in any long and lengthy conversation. Just kept myself moving around...organising.
My SIL loved the gift i made her...ended up being passed around for everyone to see. How sweet of her. if she was doing it to take care of my ego..it worked. I made her a wrap and a baby elephant. My first go at the elephant...i had to make up my own pattern from a tiny little one i had. I incorporated some of my grandmas doileys and linen into it....which by the way i am collecting by means of donation. If you have any old linens, doileys, laces, ribbons and fabric, antique or old...i would love to take it off your hands and make something special out of it. I want o try and sell things but to buy the linen ...is too expensive for me atm, well too expensive to get anything back for it. I have come to realise that so many people have stuff in their cupboards and will never use it...It is sad but these beautiful pieces will rot and die with our generation. So i want to 'mod' them up and start a business with it...that is the plan.
The day before the baby shower however, did go so well. I ended up screaming at my brother. None of them have ever seen me with such extreme emotion. I left so upset with myself and so worked up. I won't go into why for privacy. He was angry and it frightened me, but when i left his comments were along the lines of...what is wrong with her. I know i didn't behave well but it doesn't excuse his behaviour. He thinks he is above us all and his actions are excusable. He NEVER apologises for anything. I just cracked. I can't and won't blame it on where i am at atm however i know my cup is full. It doesn't take from the fact he was being wrong. Now he is not talking to me and there is a HUGE elephant in the room. Oh joy, why oh why is family so stressfu at times. I have trouble with it because my family was always a pretty good source of 'normal' before the last year. I just try to find how i can improve myself...
AF arrived today, well last night. It confirms OV was late. I still have the CMV in my system so another month off the TTC train. I think it is ok although i am fast approaching a point when we will stop trying to fall pregnant. I just keep hoping that i twill happen soon.
So here is to resting...and getting some housework, sewing and washing done...slooowly! At least i got a good sleep last night. Going to make myself a chai late.
Bookmarks