Gigi - I'm sorry that all this has raised your anxiety issues. Anxiety and I are very well aquinted and I know how sucky it can be. Hopefully your gp can help you out.
Sounds like you are very clever with the sewing and decorating, I am very impressed. I was doing some sewing for our little one's room but haven't looked at my machine since he was born. Funnily enough the last thing I made was an owl wall hanging thingy!
cmeglles, congratulations on the graduation news! Clever chicken!
AFM - very impatienlty waiting for AF, I feel like it will signal that my body is "working" again. After a week of no bleeding at all I had about an hour of light fresh bleeding yesterday, and now nothing again! My body is taunting me, methinks!
beata - hope everything is going well, am thinking of you!
Hello everyone. I have been reading this forum for a couple of weeks now and thought it was time I said hello and to say congrats to Dory on her pregnancy.
It has been 6 weeks since I lost my DD at 22+4 weeks. She died about an hour after I gave brith to her - she was absolutely perfect in every way but just too small to survive. I can't believe it has only been 6 weeks it feels like such a long time ago. Obviously the hardest 6 weeks of my life! I am very lucky though to have an 18 month old DS who really has kept me going and has made me realise that life just has to go on (even when there are days when I just want to hide in bed)
My first thought after my DD died was that I was never getting pregnant again and then a day or two later all I could think about was TTC again. My OB suggested I wait 3 cycles before TTC again but was wondering what other's OB's had said. I need to wait 3 months anyway as I had to have a couple of blood transfusions and want to make sure I didn't pick up anything nasty before I start TTC again. Also, I am still spotting and was wondering how long others bleed??
Susie Q- I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. Welcome to our wonderful little group. These woman have been really helpful for me, and it is really wonderful how positive this group is despite all that we have been through. AFM-I bled for about 2-3 weeks after giving birth at 16+ weeks (could have been 16 or 16w+3). You will probably bleed slightly longer, but it shouldn't be much. I was told to wait 2 cycles after the bleeding stopped, which ended up for me being about 3 months. My cycles returned to normal pretty quickly.
Charlie B- have you done an hpt to see if your body is still producing HCG? That might give you some indication of when things will slow down. I took a few and watched them trail off and the bleeding did as well. Sorry things are so frustrating for you.
Gigi1- One thing I know is that 90%+ people have had EBV and CMV and the viruses just lay dormant. That means that all of the pregnancies are the same way. An active virus can affect a pregnancy (as unfortunately your doctor had you stop TTC-boo) but once they are dormant it should be fine. I am not sure about Lyme. I will look it up, I doubt it because the bacteria stay REALLY localized and it definitely was not one of the diseases we were told to watch out for in med school, but I should really double check to make sure I am right. So really good news once you kick the viruses! If I remember right antibiotics don't always help with Lyme if it isn't caught early. So it is good you are waiting. Plus having IV antibiotic would really stink. I also hate having my blood taken--they never can find my vein and it is just painful. Ugh. I am hoping that this next year will be filled with lots of writing (my thesis) and hopefully a big fat tummy (with a healthy baby at the end)--so it is a personal goal not to get too busy. haha You are so generous to be doing that for your SIL. I bet it is beautiful and so original. AND you'll have all the skills for making your own nursery in the future- how great!
Dory- Thanks! I appreciate your support about talking about my DS. I do feel like I have changed a lot going to school, become more....hmmm...I don't know more adult, mature? But I also got married and bought a condo since I came to school too, so it could be a combination. I do really love medicine, really makes me feel like I can make a difference in some peoples lives.
crumpet- I am counting down the days for you. I could never wait long, but my goal is to wait this cycle too (I wont be testing til April though), but that is always my goal. Keep us updated!
SusieQ - I am so soo sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. Grief is a hard journey and at times amazing journey that opens you up to things both good and not so good that you would never expect. Go gently. Hmm, for Amelia, I bled for about 6-8 weeks ( bled means heavy bleeding with clots through to light spotting) I think however that I got AF in that time as well? I felt like forever at the time. I can't actually remember for Sophie as I didn't make a note of it. After Amelia, my ob said we could try right away, but recommended we wait one cycle. I was happy to do that, but was very keen to get on the TCC wagon again. I hope what I say next doesn't upset you. As sad and heartbreaking as my experiences have been, I am so grateful that I got to birth my babies, alive, and that I held them as they died, surrounded completely in my love and grief. I feel so priveleged and empowered to have had those experiences. Not everyone feels the same way. I felt that way at the time and the time hat has elapsed since has only reinforced my feelings of pride and maternal bonding. I hope for you, in time, you are able to be at peace with your experiences. You angel is never far away and is always in your heart.
Gigi - oh blossom. I think I am just ok with being a pin cushion! Before and since my pregnancies I have had a lot of blood tests. I am seriously not phased, except when they can't find the vein, that does become a little anxiety provoking. It must be awful being so apprehensive about it. You'll get there. I am so proud of you for helping up with the nursery. Just getting in practise for your own, good thinking!. I find the best way to cope is just be in the moment doing what you are doing, rather than thinking about the possibilities of what could and should have been. For me, those thoughts always end in tears and make it so much harder to put one foot in front of the other, especially when doing something hard. It seems like you can compartmentalise your thoughts a bit too.
Cmegelles - I know what you feel about feeling more mature. Weird huh? Who would think grief could do that? And without doing medicine you can make a difference in the world, because you already have in mine. Maybe just more of a difference to more people by doing medicine?
Charli - wow an hour of bleeding? That just seems like your bod is teasing you. An hour? Clearly I can't even get my head around it. But it does help to get AF, for me it helped me think I was back in my groove. It's one step in the process.
Crumpet - I think you are very strong for not testing in April. But that does mean testing in May right?
AFM - still quite boyouant! Am doing a lot of quiet contemplation about my decision and lots of talks to DH. He's so sweet. He says he doesn't understand it all, and its such a tough decision to make, and he trusts me, that he will fully support whatever decision I make and adopt it as our decision. Wow. In a way its a bit like a burden, but mostly I am just so pleased that we are not on different pages with this.
Clever chicken!
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