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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #73

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    Bailey - I was so glad on Sunday when you did open up and talk to us about Asha. I know that you don't talk about her a lot here and that is totally up to you but it was nice to hear you talking about her on Sunday. You know that we are always here to listen when you do want to talk about her. I'm sure your family and friends would understand if you did get upset when talking about her. I know that sometimes when I talk about Cooper I upset other people, but I need to talk about him, it is what gets me through each day. It is my sisters birthday and on her card I wrote Cooper's name on it. I sat for ages wondering if I should put it on the card and then I decided to because he is my son and he is part of our family. When she read the card she got upset but she said thank you for including Cooper it means so much to me.



    It is completely ok for you to want another girl and we all know that it isn't to replace Asha because you can never replace her. I know exactly how you feel. I know that I have said that I think having a girl next would be easier because I wouldn't compare her to Cooper as much but I would like another boy. But whether it is a boy or a girl it is going to be hard. So like you, I really really don't care what I have. As long as I can have one (please!!!!! ) It is hard to put it into words without people taking it the wrong way but I know what you mean. I hope that you caught the eggie and this is your month. Fingers crossed and I hope the golden pig is on your side! He isn't on mine at the moment so he must be with someone. Sending you heaps of pink baby dust
    Let us know how you went with the support group.

    Mel - I'm sorry that you are going through all of this with DH's ex. I hope it eases off soon. Take care babe

    Deb - are you out there???????????? Would love to hear from you.

    Well I went to have another BT today and when I got there they told me I had to be fasting! Well I did ask yesterday and they told me that I didn't have to be So I now have to go back to tomorrow. You should see my arms! I have brusies and needle marks all over them - what will people think!!!!!

    Hi to everyone else - hope you are all well.

  2. #74

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    Hi all you great women,

    Boy I think I have been reading for about an hour to just catch up! Great to hear all the great things of appointment and getting some answers, but some troubled times past.

    Mel OMG what a witch! I hate when they play with the kids heads,Im so sorry that both you , DH and the kids have to go through this, sometimes it would be just great if people like he just fell of the face of the earth, I know kids need there parents and all but its sort of emotional abuse-its so not fair. How did your interview go?

    Lynn Dr Nat is going a bit far! I should finish uni and med. but my family comes first, Im only glad you have been able to get some answers and look forward to that baby in your arms VERY SOON you just wait and see.

    Bailey I hope you get a big fat BFP and covered in pink an added extra! sending lots of it your way

    Spring Wonderful news on your scan, even though I have not been here Ive been thinking about you and praying all is going well, so a big congrates on that scan and little spring growing, before you know it ther will be sleepless nights, nappies the lot!!!

    Deb Hows it all going with the TTC? I hope your well.

    Jo Great to see you back, sorry that things are so hard at the moment I do hope that things start to get sorted and you feel a little soon.

    Scarlet I glad you have found us and only hope that you can find some comfort and at least a good place to vent!!! Good luck with all your test, I know it can seam like a pain but when you do fall again if they do find things you can rule out and feel more confident about the pregnancy. I am sorry that your babies had to leave to soon.


    To all you other wonderful women, Hi and I hope you are all well, I still need to read through again to see what I have missed! good luck with BDing and TTC I sending loads of babydust to all of you. (Oh both boy and girls by the way!) xxx

  3. #75

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    Oh and Lynn "What the" with the fasting, can these people not get it right! When do you see the FS next?

  4. #76

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    One thing I have learnt is to get a second option! I know one person tells me not to fast and the next tells me to Oh well, back tomorrow to give more blood. I don't think I have any left!!! I see the FS next Tuesday and hopefully he will have all my results from all this blood........any hopefully a good plan to kick my body into action.

    At least I will be prepared when the wicked witch arrives this month I just want it to hurry up so I can start on next month.

  5. #77

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    Hi gorgeous ones,
    I am here I am a bit under the weather today. I have a sinus infection and feel pretty ordinary.
    Lynn I saw your news and my head hurt too much to reply earlier! I am so very happy that you have some answers. At least now you know what those ovaries are up to. They will come up with the goods and it's great that you have had some active help. I am sorry taht you couldn't get your bloods done today and that your arms are looking worse for wear. I have to admit to ahving a giggle about the Tarago! We have a four wheel drive and I would love a Tarago!!!!! Our 4 wheel drive is only 7 seats and I want twins next time so maybe I just might get my wish!!!!!

    Nat - So beautiful to hear from you again. How are you????

    Sorry gals but I have to go now and blow my nose!

  6. #78

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    Oh Deb you poor thing. I hope you are feeling ok. I hope you get your twins very soon! Being a twin myself, I think they are fantastic - lol!!!!

  7. #79

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    Oh Deb I hope your feeling better soon, you have to so you can at your prime to receive the eggies!!

    Im doing OK, well thats what I keep telling myself! I went with one of my close girlfriends today as she is 5.5weeks is seeing Dr S and has had some problems, the sadest thing is the sack is only at 4w, no FP and prog low. I think maybe a miscarriage is going to happen, DrS has done more BHcgQ so will know tonight or in the morning. You know I only wish I could take her pain away and make it better.........I can only help her to get threw it and be there I suppose.......God why does this have to happen to the good mums?

    Im sorry for such bad news. Im just glad I can be there for her I only hope it can help her and know she is not alone in this rough road of life.

    Its things like this that make it so raw for me, today I should have been 23w and seeing him for all the right reasons how ironionic (????) I am however seeing him next week for me, I need to know where he thinks we should go from here and why I havnt fallen again I mean I do sort of know why but just need to go through it all with him an make some plans for the next 3-4 months or cycles(which I think sounds sooner!!!) And if after that where do we start with our next step. We did talk today about me after (I got a free consult!) so he has a week to get me some answers.......I bet he cant wait till then!!! Anyway I could go on and on about me BUT Im a little over it and Im sure you all are too. So Deb I want you to work very hard on BFP...... where are you in your cycle? are you taking blood thining drugs/inj? and are you on 20mg pred.? so many question but only give me an answer once your feeling better. Oh yeah the pred. makes you get very run down and so much harder to fight off anything, I just found boosting up on vit c helped and making sure I eat lots of fresh fruit and vegies which Im sure you do. Hope you can get some rest.

    Lynn Sorry I do remember you saying it was next Tue......brain like a sieve sometimes!

  8. #80

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    HI Nat,
    I am so so sorry about your friend. She is lucky to have your love and support. It is tough on you helping someone else through the pain, however it can also be healing. You are a wonderful person.

    My period is due today and I expect it later this evening. My husband has to go to Europe next week and is trying very hard to return on Thursday the following week (my cd15/16) and if this is the case that he can arrange that then I will take clomid this month. If not then I won't. On Clomid I usually ovulate around cd17-22!!! So, I am hoping that he can arrange things. I am hoping even more that my period holds off until tomorrow which would be perfect for Chris's trip. Can you believe how we have to work things???? I am still on my 20mgs of Prednisone and low dose asprin. I will commence clexane from a positive hpt. So, I enter this next phase with lots of optimisim. I look forward to hearing what Dr S says next week. Did you see the article re: him in New Idea? My "mum" cut it out and gave it to me. About a woman with recurrent loss and he treated her and viola!!!
    Thinking of your friend :hugs:

  9. #81

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    Nat - you think your brain is like a sieve, what about me? I totally forgot that you were going with your friend today and you only told me yesterday I am so sorry that I didn't ask how it went and ask how you were going.

    You are such a wonderful and caring person and I know it would have been hard on you today. You are such a good friend and I know she would have appreciated you going with her. I am so sorry that the news is not good for her. I know that you will help her through the painful journey. I hope you get your answers when you see your dr next week. Fingers crossed for you that it all goes well :hugs:

    Deb - I hope your DH is home in time for the big day. I hope you are feeling a little bit better. Take care and get some rest

  10. #82

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    Hi ladies, I hope you are all well.

    Kerry - I hope you are feeling a little better. I suppress everything too which but I have decided not to anymore...better out than in. I know it's hard not having seen your babies. I didn't see my little girl, but that was my choice. I regret that now, but I think I just did what I was capable of at the time. Everything you said does make sense.

    Lynn - Thanks so much for understanding what I meant. I so didn't want it to come off sounding wrong. Thanks for the pink dust! I am proud of you for putting Coopers name on your sisters card. I think it's really brave. I hope I will be able to do that. That sucks about the fasting that they didn't tell you about...so more BT's tommorrow. You must feel like a pin cushion! I hope this next AF is your last one for a year or so

    Flowerchild - Sinisitus sucks! I've only had it a couple of times, but I hate it. I hope you are feeling better. Good luck with the twins. We joke that I may get twins next time cos they are in DH's family. I wouldn't mind some double trouble either!

    Hi to Mel, Spring, Dream, Tess and Mish...I hope you're all well. Hope I didn't forget anyone.

    Well I had the Sids and Kids Stillbirth Support group meeting today, and it was so hard. It was good, and I am glad I went, but it can be so overwelming to hear everones stories first hand. I was so sad! I think I cried for two hours straight, everyone did. The next meeting is in 4 weeks, and I would recommend it to any of the Sydney girls. Also, for Spring, they have a Subsequent pregnancy support group too. It was different to what I expected, there was a counseler there, but she really just sat back and listened while we all talked. If anyone needs the number to book into the next meeting let me know.

  11. #83

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    Thanks Bailey for the info on the support group. If you think it was worth going, I might come to the next one with you. Do I have to register and be approved? Do you know what I need to do?

    I am so happy to hear that you are ready to talk about Asha. We all have regrets but we make what we think is the best decision at the time.

  12. #84

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    Good morning my lovelies,
    I am still a bit under the weather. However, I have a HUGE day today and won't be around much. I have to make the big trek to the coast (it's only 40 minutes but it's very busy down there when you live in the middle of a dairy farm!!!).
    I will be back tomorrow.

  13. #85

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    Hi Everyone

    Deb Oh how our lives revolve around our eggs! I do hope DH is back in time and the twins are on there way!!!!! Europe..... not to bad hay, maybe next time he will need an assistant and you could go and make a French Baby. Good luck with the trip into town hope none of those city people capture you. Are you in the hinterland? Im very jealous its all very pretty around there and much less hectic then here in Sydney. I glad your feeling better, take care of yourself. I didnt see that artical I must get a copy, I dont read mags like that very often only when at the doctors! I think this was the girl who saw him just after me about 16mths ago (I had just miscarried) If I dont find it could you sed me a copy of it? Just a note with clexcane, if you do IVF they start you on it just after O, I started last month at this time, DrS said if I did IVF this is when he would start me on it but since I was not under close supervision to wait till +hpk, I told him I montior myself anyway and he said I know what you will do!!! ask ob what his thoughts are on this. I didnt do apsrin till +hpk. Thank you for your kind words, maybe we go through what we do so we can help others....I dont know but if some good could come out of what we have all been though then that would be something.

    Lynn The little pin cushion, how are you? did they take your blood today? Thank you also for your kind words as I said to Deb, I think we all here would do the same. After all we are very special mummies.........our angels help us to be strong and help others which in turn also helps us heel.

    Bailey Im so glad that the support group was so helpful, sometimes crying with strangers is easier then turning to our loved ones, we think we have to be strong and dont want to make them upset, but when someone else is in the same situation it make it easier to open up. and talking helps so much in the heeling process. Im sorry I missed meeting you the other day but Im sure we will catch up again SOON!

    To you other beautiful girls I hope your day is good to you and I will pop back in later to see if anyone else has been around.

  14. #86

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    Deb I love the verse on the bottom of you signature. So So true.

  15. #87
    Mish Guest

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    Hello ladies, I've been away from computer access for a day or so and also have had to spend a lot of time catching up on all the goss! Sounds like there is a lot happening at the moment between testing, BDing, planning for BDing and support groups - good luck to all this month!

    I'm at work as usual so just a quicky, but the hubby is home and has fixed the internet connect (hate feeling like a hopeless woman but i couldn't work it out!) so will send more personal replies from home. Briefly though:

    Lynn I'm so glad you're getting on track with sorting everything out, knowledge is power and it's always great to feel you have some control over what's happening - in a field where that's often really hard!

    Spring and Scarlet - thanks for your advice, it was absolutely spot on - I have tried the subtle approach before but when you're worried that every day you miss could be important it's terrible to get a knock back!!

    Deb hope you are feeling well and survive the trip to the coast!! You are in the sunshine coast hinterland though aren't you? At least it's not as bad as the gold coast - I tend to avoid that place like the plague. Can I ask who Dr S is? Think I missed something there....

    Nat I just wish that I had a friend with me who truly understood when I was going through m/c's previously, it must be hard for you as well but you are doing a wonderful thing by being there for her. I wanted to catch up with you for a chat since my initial post when you asked about medications etc seeing as you mentioned also having a similar background..

    Just briefly, the hubby made it back for CD13 at least, so unless it's happened earlier we'll wait and see! Even though he'd been up for 20 hours he was a great sport this month - helped that he got attacked early in the night rather than when we went to bed though I'm away all next week travelling for work so it's going to be a busy few days between now and then......

  16. #88
    Mish Guest

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    Just a quick question - after taking low dose aspirin last year and having two miscarriages while taking it - I've sort of given up on the idea, but I'm not sure if I should continue with it. It's the type of question that if I ask the doctor/s I get 'it can't hurt', but if it's not stopping them I don't really want to take it - any opinions?

  17. #89

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    Hey everyone, hope you are all well.

    Deb - hope the city trip was good. I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit better today.

    Mish - good luck with your BFP this month

    Nat - I feel the same way as you, if I can help others then it is helping me. I just wish there weren't so many people going through this - why is life so cruel and unfair. Did you see on the news about Anna Nicole Smith - high on drugs while pg...............I'll say no more!!!! Other than, why me? But I know you all feel like why me because we all did the right thing. No-one deserves to lose their baby no matter what the situation is but it just seems so unfair that people who look after themselves and their babies, lose them. Anyway that is my vent for today.

    Yes I am a little pin cushion, aren't I!!! Well they finally took my blood, 10 vials mind you. Don't they say it is good to give blood because your body produces new blood??? Well that is what I am telling myself that after all of this blood giving I am doing something good. After I gave all that blood, I thought I deserved to go shopping so I met my mum at the shops and bought some new clothes, a teddy to donate to TLC and a 'C' keyring.

    I am feeling a bit nauseous today, not sure if it is because of the pending arrival of the wicked witch or the metformin or because I have no blood - I don't know! Anyway I really need to clean the house so that is what I am going to do to take my mind off things - what fun.

  18. #90

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    I have read through all your posts but sorry, I just am too exhausted to do personals at the moment.

    I had my first appointment with the Psychiatrist this morning and after two heart wrenching hours he said that I Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It all makes sense now, the high levels of anxiety, the high BP, bad dreams, disturbed sleep, flashbacks and constant feeling of exposure are apparently textbook PTSD. He doesn't believe in medicating (which I wouldn't do even if he did believe it in) so we are going to work on it so that I can get through this pregnancy and get some sense of normality back. Turns out he lost a child at full term 36 years ago so even though he looked 100 years old, I felt really comfortable with him. We talked about what triggers my anxiety and he explained what happens to your body physically when you are suffering from PTSD. I feel validated in some ways and happy that I am finally going to get some help. At the same time I feel like this is yet another thing to have to cope with but I know I have to do it.

    Well after a big cry I need a big sleep on the couch so I'll pop in later to do personals.

    Thanks for listening.

    Luv Spring

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