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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #37

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    OMG, I just realised that my last post was number 600. Boy I can talk (lol) Here I come 1000



    Lv blabber girl Sping

  2. #38

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    Hey, I bet it is a hard thing wondering what to say to people. Its completely up to you what you choose to do but personally I think part of the reason we dont tell people what has happened is because it makes THEM uncomfortable. But I think bugger what everyone else thinks, if they are uncomfortable for a few minutes they will get over it. I think you have every right to turn around and say actually no this is my 2nd child, I already have a son but unfortunately he is not with us anymore. I would be surprised if people asked too many questions straight away, they may come back to you later but I really think initial conversation is the hardest. Remember that this is your life and the things that happen in your life, both good and bad, are the things make you who you are today And we all think your great On the other hand, if the reason you dont want to tell people is because you will get upset talking about Harry, I guess that is a different story.

    Enjoy All Saints - I am watching Australias Next Top Model, man those girls crack me up

  3. #39

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    LOL Spring - how did you manage that? We joined up around the same time and I havent even hit 400 yet!!! You are putting me to shame!!! Well I might just have to step up the pace a little

  4. #40

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    Mel I think it is quantity not quality as far as my posts are concerned (lol)

    About telling work, I just don't want to be crying at the drop of a hat at work. There are a few ladies who I really are starting to trust at work, so I might ask them to come out to lunch and explain all about Harry and that I am UTD. They are really supportive, none of them have kids, two of them won't be having kids I don't think they have girlfriends IYKWIM, but they have been so good to me since I arrived so I trust them.

    Oh well, I am sure what will be will be.

    Anyway I am really going now.

    Nighty Ni

    Luv Spring

  5. #41

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    Hi everyone - geez some people can talk (won't mention any names ladies) - so i hope i get all this down right (excuse me if i have missed anything)....

    Flowerchild- I must say that i don't mind those Optus ads but you are right - money should go elsewhere. We are with Telstra and i noticed that they overcharged us $800 over a period of 8 months or so. Before i knew how much they overcharged i rang them and they could see where the overcharge was so they averaged it out over the 8 months ($260) - i was not convinced and did my own homework - rang them back and they credited me the rest instantly - didnt' question it at all. I was very impressed. Also, DH phone was playing up constantly and whilst under contract he demanded to get out and get a new phone etc....no problem again - couldn't believe it. We were very happy after that !

    Lynn - sorry that AF has not arrived but perhaps that is because you are UTD !!! What day are you on now ? Yes - well about DTD after being pg. I told my ob yesterday that i don't have to do it anymore (do it ?) and he said "now now" - typical men ! We had a good laugh but i still get the taps on the shoulder by DH. I just say that i am tired/sick etc. Can't hold out much longer though as he will go and find himself another woman - any takers ????

    I think you are going to have to post that Lemon/Thyme chicken recipe - i feel like eating it now !

    Spring Angel - so you have the pouch too hey - i think mine is a combo of Bub 1 & 2 - i keep thinking i should do 500 situps a day (not) and that should do it - or perhaps wait now as there is only going to be more - how fantastic ! Good idea about being in the public hosp - definitely right ! Our DD needed an op when she was born and thankgod was in the public as there was not a cent to pay and we had a top surgeon - to be honest it didn't even cross my mind about being in a pub hospital for that reason. You will have no problem anyway but best to be organised just the same. Good luck with the appointment !

    Mel - i hope you are feeling better about your decision to tell your story. Don't regret what you have done - it is a difficult decision and only you know what you should do. I wish i told the "sausage man" the other day that "my belly is actually from my stillborn son" but i don't think he would have understood (with the language barrier and all)....it just wasn't the time to say anything. I guess as time goes on we will know how we want to handle these situations and who we will say things to and who we won't. It makes me think though - does "everyone" have a story to tell ? How many people out there are hiding something. I bet a lot of people are.

    As for showing photo's of babies who have passed - i had no idea how a baby would look at any stage of their gestation/passing. I think i only know a couple of people (apart from BB girls) that has really. I think it as an educational exercise for most people however they react. It is a part of life and unfortunately some of us see it first hand and others are just surprised/shocked by it. If they are then so be it - they don;'t know what to expect and well i want them to know that this is our baby and i am proud of how he looks - he was still a person and always will be. This is how it is. Sorry if i have sounded harsh (i don't mean to be) but this is my personal view and i just want people to know and show them what the real world is about (and only a small part of it), according to me - as before this we were so naive.

    Re: SIDS and KIDS - ring them on their hotline. You mentioned the other day that you thought the people there are cliquey. I haven't really found that at our meeting yet. Partners/parents can come too it is no problem. It is not counselling as such - just a discussion (like BB) and we support/help each other. The counsellor there mediates the meeting which is needed as topics can go offtrack. I do hope you find it helpful when you eventually go. I must say i don't mind going - well, i don't find it a loss to go.

    Meet the Robinson was great - my DD loved it and balled her eyes out when we left as she wanted to see it again.

    As for a present suggestion - how about a box of body lotions/creams etc. It is more for her (but could also suggest a hint of relaxation throughout her pregnancy). I don't know - i am hopeless at these things.

    Well my bleeding (as little as it was) has stopped thank god - i must have been so paranoid - what a long pg this is going to be....

    Hi to everyone else - hope you are all well.

  6. #42

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    Spring - what time is your appointment at the hospital today? Do you need company? Besides the Sids group this morning, I will be free this afternoon if you want me to come, just let me know. I am CD41 today. And to answer your questions, yes I am tempted to test. I am having a bt tomorrow morning to see where things are at so they can tell me when to expect the witch but they are also going to do a pg test.............so I will know one way or another tomorrow. My FS said that it is still possible to fall pg while taking Provera.............so there is a chance!!!! But I'm not holding out much hope.

    Mel - I think things that we say and do are always going to make us second guess ourselves. I always feel like I say too much to some people too. I hope that she becomes another support person for you at work I love Australias Next Top Model too! Next week looks like an interesting one! Some of the girls there, I have no idea how they made it this far!!!!!

    Tommysmum - see you soon - I'll be the one with the massive box of tissues and looking lost!

    Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.

  7. #43

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    Hi Girls

    Just popped in to say a big Hello to you all, Im trying so hard to catch up on raeding all the posts in here!!! I am tryin to get back in and do personals BUT schools holidays and DS and friends think they can over take my computer!!!! well thry have so.......by the time night rolls around its so late I just need bed for the next day! Can you all make sure you stick around once you get BFP Im going to be all alone in here soon if it keeps up!By the time Sept, Oct, Nov.........gets here Ill be posting to myself!!!

    All is well here in my camp, taking my dad to get the news tomorrow so not to sure how that will go but fingers crossed all will be as good as it can.

    Deb Im wishing hard here for a BFP, I sure hope you got that eggie or two!

    Lynn Good luck today, anytime you need anything just call, your not alone in this xxx

    Mel Whats with the ex.....Hows the new house comming?

    Spring Glad to see you growing! We need a lunch!

    Sarah Im sorry you have to join us here but I hope its is short and sweet.

    To tommysmum, Klee, Alex and anyone else I forgot HI.

    So much for not doing personals!!! But I will come back soon!

    Luv Nat xxx

    ps Deb the lemon chicken looks like you have been cooking for hours but you dont it very easy, you do need to cook it slow at the start!

  8. #44

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    hi again ladies, thank you for your lovely words yesterday.
    My precious Phoebe, shine as your name means, bright and pure, as the innocence you bought into my life.
    Yesterday was a tough one, but I'm not going to vent, DP worked late which gave me the time to myself that I needed. I tried to face the day by coming to work but realised it was much too soon. I found comfort in the strangest thing, I bought some lillies and placed them next to her photo, the closest one to the photo was the only one to open.

  9. #45

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    Oh Klee, I am sorry that yesterday was tough. I truely believe that the open lily is just like a smile from Phoebe telling you she is ok. I hope today is better, take your time going back to work, it took me 4 months and then was still an absolute struggle. Big :hugs: babe.

    Lynn: Thanks for the offer to come to the Hossy but I think I'll be fine. Just doing the checking in appointment thingy with the midwife and then I think I will be talking to a lactation consultant about the lump in my boob. I hope the meeting today isn't too upsetting and that you find the group supportive and helpful. Say hi to Tommysmum and give her a cuddle for me.

    Dream: Great to hear from you sweetie, school holidays are almost over aren't they? I agree we will have to arrange another meet up. I think once Bailey is back we should have a few free weekends either before or after Lynn goes away. I'll post in the thread and see what we can organise. I think Tommysmum may also be interested.

    Well I am waiting for a tradesperson to come and fix the window. They said they would be here about 9am and when I called it was changed to between 9am and 12noon . Well they'd better get here soon because I have plans and things to get done today, but I must admit, I am enjoying the daytime TV and doing nothing much.

    Luv Spring

  10. #46

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    thanks Spring, I am back part time at work, basically on my own terms, its not mind intensive work, they are happy to just have me here which is nice. most days go okay then i get a morning like this morning where one of the ladies came in to tell me about her friend that had just had babies at 37 weeks and she goes on to say how big they were and healthy etc. do people honestly not think?

  11. #47

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    sorry no offence intended to any of you bb ladies.

  12. #48

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    Does the lady at your work know about Phoebe? If so then she is out of line and very inconsiderate for talking to you about newborns.

    What planet are some people from?

    Just ignore her if you can.

    Take care
    Spring

  13. #49

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    Hi everyone!

    Tommysmum: so happy to hear that the spotting has stopped! now that is the last little whoopsy we will have this pregnancy okay!

    Spring: booking in appointment today - that's always a nice thing. It's a plan, you get to talk etc. I hope it is a nice appointment with a caring midwife. LOL at the maternity bra relief! It feels good doesn't it!

    Mel: I hope things settle soon with the ex wife. How is the TWW treating you my love? Have you thought about when you would like to test? I am praying so hard for us all this month. Come on for us all!!!!!!

    Klee: I am glad you got some time to yourself yesterday - the story of the white lily's was beautiful... Big big hugs Klee...

    Lynn: I hope the support group helps today. I look forward to hearing about how it went. Blood test tomorrow - I hope so much that it is wonderful news.

    Nat: So glad to *see* you again! We won't desert you and before long you will be in the preg forum too! Can you tell me Nat how much prednisone are you on? This next pregnancy I am going to do 2500u of fragmin (same as clexane) twice daily. What were you on? I know I know I have asked this before but I have a memory retention issue at the moment. I hope it's okay to ask again...

    Me: Well I am suffering a bit. I am sooooo bloated and gassy and constipated. I am putting it down to a high progesterone level due to the multiple follicles - I can't put on my usual pants and I smell less than rosy! 4dpo today but who's counting?????!!!!!!!
    We had playgroup today - it's always fun but I just feel so uncomfortable. Evie painted herself more than the paper! My friend that had the twins is coming for a cuppa this afternoon - so I have to get off here and organise things a bit! I will pop back later...

  14. #50

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    Firstly I'd like to wish that someone here gets their BFP this month!That would be absolutely fantastic news:-)

    I'm a newbie in this forum/thread I guess you could say I've been lying low and choosing not to talk about our disappointments thus far
    But could really do with being 'around' others who know the pain I'm going through.
    It honestly gets so hard when you want to have a successful pregnancy but lose them repeatedly.
    Usually I can hold it together quite well but last few months have been a little harder on me.
    Mostly because I have a couple of friends who were ttc with me and they are now both pregnant.
    I was pregnant the same time as one of these ladies but obviously my joy turned to tears!
    Its been 6 mths or so since my last mc Sept 06 and I still havent conceived which is really unusual for me since I normally do within a 3 mth period so now I'm thinking there is a block in my tubes! I have an appointment with my Ob next mth to discuss though.
    Just feeling so down about the losses.
    Sorry to start the 1st post on such a downer! You all know exactly what Im going through so Im sure - understand:-)

  15. #51

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    Well the new ticker is there! Finally! Not sure whether to cry or be happy. I can honestly say that I knew that this wasn't the month because of what happened but it still brings up the emotions. But it also means that this is the start of the next cycle - my last cycle

  16. #52
    *Kristee* Guest

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    Hi Girls,
    I don't know if this is where i belong??
    I have been trying to cope with my losses and have been in denial a LOT but my latest one which just so happened to be on my wedding day i have realised that i can't live in denial all my life and if i am going to deal with it properly i need all the support i can get.
    So is it okay if i join you guys, i must admit reading through the last posts i don't know whether i belong here because most of you have had a s/b where as i haven't had a loss that late.
    So i am hoping you will allow me to be in here, and be able to express my feelings some where. I am currently an emotional wreck thinking about it so will leave it at that.
    Please tell me if i belong here or in the other ttc after m/c loss forum....
    Take care
    Bye for now.

  17. #53
    Heybacko Guest

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    Hi All

    No news on AF for me, STILL got the brown/red loss 16d post-D&C - seeing the GP tomorrow but Practice Nurse said it may be low haem. that's causing it, it's still low after the huge blood loss I had (borderline transfusion, so I was told).

    HUGE love going out to Lynn - may THIS be YOUR month Lynn,

    Just a quick welcome to Kristee (hope the DH is being a bit more supportive to you xx)and Hindonly - so sorry you are here but rest assured you are in good hands.

    Big hugs to everyone else, can't stop I have rice on the stove!!

    Love Alex
    xxxx

  18. #54

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    Hindonly: Welcome to the thread although I am sorry that you have to join us. Of course you are welcome, we will all welcome you with open arms and will take very good care of you. Don't worry about being a downer, you can feel free to be however you want in here and we will support you just the same. It can be really hard when friends and family fall pregnant. I am pregnant and I still find it hard to see pregnant women, go figure. There are a few of us in here at the moment trying to deal with pregnancies of those in our life and the inconsiderate things that can happen (like feeling fogotten) so welcome honey, I hope you stay here is short and sweet. :hugs: to you sweetie.

    Kristee-lee- I posted to you in another thread but can I just say again I am so very sorry that you lost your angel on your wedding day, you must be an amazing and strong woman to have survived that pain. It is more than ok that you join us, not everyone in here has had a s/b and a loss at any stage in pregnancy is a loss. By looking at your signature you have had a very difficult and painful time in the past, there are some very helpful women in here that will be able to give you suggestions or advice about test and medications so that you never have to feel the pain of a loss ever again. As I said, I am so very sorry, keep talking babe, it is the best thing I have done finding these women. I was paying a small fortune for a psych, but nothing in the world is better than the love and support of these ladies. Big warm :hugs:

    Lynn: I can't imagine the mixed emotions that you must be feeling but I am glad that if AF was going to show up eventually, she didn't make you wait any more. Does that mean that you start the injections today? How did you find the SIDS and Kids meeting? I understand if you don't feel like discussing it, but if you want to talk we are all here.

    Deb: How was your friend with the twins? Boy must her life be crazy at the moment. I hope you had a nice afternoon and that the bloated feeling is clearing up.. Day four into the TWW already, bring on day 14 I say.

    Well I have my appointment at the booking in clinic. I must admit, I was a bit taken aback at the public health system. I am a private paitent but going to the public hospital and when I was walking to the clinic there were sick people just waiting everywhere, young and old, it was quite upsetting because my appointment took 1.5 hours and when I left there were a few very elderly people who were still sitting in their wheel chairs waiting. Poor old sods, I felt very sorry for them.

    Anyway, the appointment was ok, the midwife was good and was respectful about Harry and answered all my questions. Although as soon as I walked in the lady at reception gave me a bounty bag and I burst into tears. I don't want a darn bag, I want Harry. That is all I could think. Of course it was really upsetting going through the whole story of my pregnancy with Harry and the birth but I had prepared myself and the midwife let me take my time. Lil' Spring must have known I was upset because I got some of the best movements I have had so far while I was talking about Harry. I always find it exhausting talking about everything, the midwife suggested I talk to some of their psych staff at the hospital who are women who deal with stillbirth so I think that I will take her up on the offer. It will be good to know that they will be the people talking to me after the birth of Lil' Spring. Also, they have said that I can do a private tour of the maternity unit so that I don't have to be in a group of 15 or so pregnant women so that makes me feel better. They are also fine with me having a Doula but said that the hospital view them as a birth support partner and that they don't have any authority in the hospital. I presume that is the case in every hospital, Deb do you know if that is normal?

    Anyway, sorry for going on a bit today, I really appreciate the fact that I can be totally honest in here. Just feeling sorry for myself and for those poor old people who are probably still waiting.

    Big love to everyone else. This group is getting too big girls, I think I can feel some graduations coming on.

    Spring

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