Hopefully Deb (Flowerchild) or Nat (Dream) will pop in tonight because they know every test under the sun and may be able to help you with a plan of attack about trying to get some answers.
Wow it's been a busy day. This thread is getting very full now - I'm sorry if I miss anyone.
Deb - I start the injections on CD4 but I'm picking the 'showbag' up tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous to be honest about this cycle, I just hope it will be ok. I'm just not sure how I am going to be with the injections...........but I have to remember my dream, don't I. I will need a lot of that positive energy that you send to me Sids and Kids was good. I met so wonderful strong woman but it is just so hard hearing about more babies that we have lost. The weird thing was all of us there had lost boys. It was very difficult for me to talk about losing Cooper but in another way it is good to talk about him and what happened. I hope you are not suffering as much any more. Sending you a really big hug and a belly rub to make your belly feel a little bit better.
Seeing your friend and her babies must of been really hard. I hope you are ok.
Nat - hey Nat, I love seeing your posts! I will give you a buzz tomorrow after my appointment. I guess I won't need to ask questions about my bt now cos I won't need to have it.
Mel - how are you babe? How is the house plans coming along? Any news back from the ex? Have you done a test yet????? Hope you doing ok
Spring - I'm glad today went ok. You are very strong and brave to do that alone. Just remember I am here (I'm not a nutcase anymore.........promise!!) Lil Spring is going to be here in no time - I can't wait!
Klee - your lily story is just beautiful. It was your precious angel telling you she is ok. We find comfort in many ways and I think the lillies are beautiful. I'm sorry about that person at work. Unfortunately people don't think and you will come across insensitive people all the time, they make us stronger if nothing else. Thinking of you
Alex - I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. And yes this is going to be MY month. I just can't keep doing this. So lots of positive thinking happening here.
Tommysmum - it was great to meet you today. Hopefully you can meet up with the rest of the Sydney gals at our next catchup.
Kristee and Hindonly - I'm sorry that you have to join this thread but you have come to the right place. You will get loads of support.
Hi to Sarah, Jo and Chelle - hope you are all doing ok.
Deb,
I just found some of my paperwork of tests already done and some of the tests are as follows:
*Coeliac disease
*Chlamydia
*Plasma Homocysteine
*Chromosomal analysis
*Lupus anticoagulant
*anti-beta !! glycoprotein
*Protein C
*Free protein S
*antinuclear antibodies
*Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
*Antiphospholipid Syndrome
*MTHFR homozygosity
*Factor V Leidin
And they all came back ''normal''. Is there any other tests i should ask for?
I am in Wagga Wagga and am seeing Jane Hargood, but if she does more tests some of them are done by some other doctor i don't know either in Melbourne or Sydney.....i must admit up until now i sorta just went with the flow without asking questions. Its pretty sad that i don't know the doctor that performed some of these tests.
Kristee - I am so sorry for the loss of your angels, I really wish you didnt have to be here. But you are very welcome, you have been through a lot and I am so sorry you went through losing your angel on what is meant to be a happy day. Unfortunately it is now the thing that will last in your memories of your wedding day. Although hopefully you graduate from this thread with future memories that will warm your heart and arms
Hindonly - I am also sorry to you for the loss of your angels. I hope that we can give you support and see you through your next pregnancy. I am sorry that you have been TTC for 6 months now, I understand how hard that is. I fell pregnant with Nicholas accidentally but now have been TTC for 7 (going on 8) months and it is so frustrating, and everytime AF arrives your heart breaks that little bit more. Hopefully we will all be graduating from this thread asap.
Spring - It sounds like it has been an emotional day, so proud of you for doing it (on your own of all things) and being able to talk about Harry. How funny is it that lil Spring was kicking around when you were talking about him... HE/she definitely knows who their brother is! How awful about the old folks, a bit disrepectful really but what can you do - public hospital staff are extremely overworked and underpaid... how evil am I though, couldnt help but chuckle at your comment that they are probably still waiting LOL.
Lynn - YAY that AF has arrived I know it is hard and you are right it does bring up all sorts of emotions regardless of whether you think you have a chance or not... AF is a reminder of what we have lost I think. But it IS a good thing, now you can plan for next month and as you said, this will be your last month TTC! The ex would have only got our response today so we havent heard anything yet - he has a phone conf booked for 24th april so not expecting to until then. Hey, how did your meeting go? When are you going away again?
Deb - Hey all those symptoms sound promising! Do you think they could be...? I think you are very brave being able to see the babies, I cant look at babies - except my niece. Actually DH had a blood test tonight and I sat in the waiting room waiting for him and he took forever (cause he is a big girls blouse and had to lay down afterwards - MEN!) and a lady came in with an approx. 6 month old boy - he was so beautiful and kept looking at me and smiling and I just wanted to burst into tears. I managed to squeeze out a smile to him (I can hardly be mean to a baby can I?) but deep down I just wanted them to go away.
Tommysmum - I feel the same way you do about our boys - it is almost my mission in life to MAKE people understand that he was just like any other baby but he just wasnt beathing at birth. I mean, other women (many of members of BB as I have noticed) have babies earlier than 36 weeks and their babies survive and are at home with them a few days later. Anyway, I think you should be proud of your boy and show him off any way you can... except to the sausage man, he would probably just stare at you and say "que?" LOL.
Klee - :hugs: to you and Phoebe. What a beautiful thing to happen with the lily - she opened it up just for her beautiful mummy. I hope you are feeling a little better today (well as much as you can iykwim). Work is tough isnt it, I went back very early - after 4 weeks and it is really hard. I think it is very insensitive for the lady at your work to tell you about the baby who was born if she knew about Phoebe, insensitive to the point of being downright heartless! I hope you dont have to go through that insensitivity again.
Nat - Good to hear from you... school hols would have been manic for you! Hopefully you can return to the land of BB again.
Alex - Hope AF pulls her finger out... is it really that abnormal for bleeding 16dp D&C? I would have thought you would bleed for a little while cause your body has to flush and stuff - but then I might be wrong (sorry) as I havent had D&C before. Anyway, fingers crossed it all sorts out soon.
Wow Spring - you are right (as usual) - it is getting full in here and in a way it makes me a little sad cause it means there are more people going through this s***. But there is still noone from Melbourne I so wish I could come to your catch ups, I think that I relate to you girls more than I can my own friends now, afterall (unfortunately) we have alot in common. And other people just dont understand and expect us to go about day to day life as we did before. I did hear back from Sids and Kids this afternoon and they are going to get a social worker to call me. I am really looking forward to going to a meeting, to meet and interact face to face with other women who have experienced a stillbirth, meet women who actually know this is my life now and not something I will get over. I know it will be hard but I really think I can benefit from it, although I am really nervous. I dont want to go on my own and I think DH doesnt really want to go (cause he knows it will be pretty much just women so he will feel a bit out of place). I would take my mum but I dont think you are allowed to, so I will just have to get up the courage to go it alone.
In answer to the questions about TWW, nothing to report yet - no symptoms whatsoever and unfortunately I have a case of thrush (she says embarrassed) because of the antibiotics I was put on for my UTI - dont know if that can affect conception but if so I wont be getting lucky this month. Anyway, I am going to try and hold off testing until after AF is due, if she doesnt come that is (hey anyone laughing at that as much as I am?) - well I did say TRY.
Hi to Chelle, Sarah, Jo, Bailey (who has left us for the sun of Bali)... OMG I feel like I am forgetting someone - sincere apologies if I am, I dont know if I can keep up with everyone now LOL... and imagine how long my posts are going to have to be now! LMAO (much like this one really). Hey we havent heard from Mish or Tess for a while, hope they're doing ok.
Anyway, guess I better go... If I keep going, Deb might have to start ANOTHER new thread hehe.
Love to all,
Mel
Last edited by Mel1977; April 18th, 2007 at 10:13 PM.
Mel: Don't worry about the thrush - it won't affect conception chances to put that out of your mind. I hope it clears up soon though - it's very uncomfy... :hugs: It can be hard seeing babies - it's a constant reminder. I feel the same about pregnant bellies - I often think "how did she do that" (meaning getting so big) of course I know that's not rational it's just sometimes what goes through my mind... Symptoms - IT IS TOO EARLY! Most symptoms in the TWW are caused by the higher progesterone level of the luteal phase of your cycle. So, don't think you didn't conceive because of no symptoms. I get indigestion, constipation and tingly nipples EVERY cycle - it's the progesterone. I have learned that the only sure way to know is a positive blood test. YOu don't know how much I am hoping for you this month Mel...
Lynn: How are you feeling? Today is show bag day! You will be fine with the injections - in a few days yhou will be an old hand. The thought is unpleasant but once you get down to it it will be fine. When do you go on holidays? I am glad Sids for Kids was an experience that was helpful for you... It's hard hearing all of those personal stories on mass. I was thinking of you and Tommysmum... :hugs:
Tommysmum: So glad that the spotting has gone (I think I already have said that but I am so GLAD!).
Klee, Alex, Hindonly and anyone else I have forgotten - I will pop in later... :hugs:
Kirstee - the tests you have had done are routine ones for recurrent miscarriage so I hope you can find some more direction with the specialist. I have watched your TTC journal closely - did you get a positive blood test? You mentioned you were having it done and you weren't certain if your urine preg test was positive as the line was so feint just before your wedding. Are you seeing the fertility speciaist because you feel you have an issue or is it because of your partner? I see that your little one is only 10 months old and you had an early loss last year. It can take some time for your body to return to optimal fertility after birthing - hormone levels jumping around etc. Are you breastfeeding? As you would know breastfeeding can also hinder fertility.
HOping you get some answers and find some peace...
Mel - I am in melbourne, and have been in counselling with sids by phone and one on one meetings. i haven't been to any of the group meetings but lately have been thinking that it may help. maybe we could both make the first step and meet up there?.
hindonly and kristee - welcome. The ladies here are wonderful and such a tremendous support, you have definitely come to the right place.
Thanks again, not too thinking too much about what the lady talking about the babies said, I think maybe she just forgot (I know that’s no excuse) but I subtly mentioned Phoebe's birth weight and she said "oh", think she realised as she didn't come talk to me again for the rest of the day.
Just wanting to ask a question, which may have been asked before, but how soon after your losses did you start the TTC journey?. I know mentally (and not sure physically) I am not there yet but was just wondering.
Hi lynn, spring, deb and everyone else, will do personals to you a little later on.
Mel - you are right ( you always are! ) this is my month and yours.......remember we have to graduate together. You sound like me not wanting to go the Sids meeting on your own. I felt like the new girl in class LOL. It was hard but good to talk about Cooper and to share it with people that really do understand. I'm sure you will benefit from it and Klee's idea of going together sounds excellent. You can be new girls together I leave tomorrow and will be back on Wednesday night. I am so going to miss all of you girls. I don't think I will be able to post while I am away so I will have a lot of reading to do when I get back. If I have time tonight I will jump on msn and have a chat. I hope you have some good news to tell me when I get back. Actually no if you get some good news you have to ring me!!!!! I will fly straight to Melbourne and hug you!!!
Deb - how am I feeling - that is an interesting question. I'm not sure to be honest. It feels like this is happening to someone else. I was sitting there listening to the nurse and she was explaining everything and it was like I was watching her talk to someone else. I know that sounds really weird but that is what it felt like. I remember I told my counsellor that when I lost Cooper it felt like an out of body experience and she said probably that was my body's way of coping. I'm wondering if this is the same. The needle looks bigger than I thought it would!!! Aghhhh!!!! I am going to be brave and strong and do this! I have to, don't I. I start the injections on saturday so by the time I am back on Wednesday I will be able to tell you what an expert I am It seems to have all worked out ok as I will be back just in time for my first BT on Thursday morning. I am going to miss all your words of wisdom over the next few days. Hopefully when I get back there will be some wonderful news for you to tell me :hugs:
Klee - I think each person is different when deciding when to TTC. My ob said that as soon as I had finished bleeding (which was about 6 weeks) I could start trying. When you are ready we will all be here to support you. Maybe check with your ob on what he thinks. I think that it is a wonderful idea of you and Mel going to the Sids meeting together. I know that Mel has been looking to meet someone in Melbourne.
Bailey - you are back this weekend but I am going to miss your first post. I hope you had the most fantastic, relaxing time. Do you have any good news to share with us??????? I have missed you so much I hope that we can all get together next weekend and hear all about your trip.
Well the secret is out. After generations of secrecy, here is the recipe.........
Whole chicken or pieces
The juice of 2 lemons + 2 cut in ¼ and placed around the chicken
About 3 cloves of garlic places through out the pieces
Fresh Thyme sprigs, about half a bunch throw over the top
Olive oil enough to cover the bottom of the pan
Oh the most important bit a very good splash of white wine all over! (what ever you are drinking make it a good one)
Very important to cover the chicken in foil so no air can escape and cook slow for about 40-50 min on low then once cooked unwrap turn up the heat brown, pour a big glass of white wine (not for you UTD girls!!!!) and serve with salad and the meat should just fall off! Not sure that slow roast would work - but you could try Deb.
Hi girls,
Mel thanks for the welcome. I have tried to remember positive things that happened on my wedding day but unfortunately like you said the only strong memory i have is losing my angel.
Don't worry about no-one in melbourne there is no-one from Wagga in here either although i think there is 2 maybe 3 other BB members in Wagga Wagga.
Hope the thrush is clearing up for you, no thrush can't stop conception.
Deb i ended up getting the BT done before my wedding day and were going to wait till after our mini honeymoon to find out....after it all happened i came home to an answering machine that was congratulating me and that i was indeed pregnant,made things worse IYKWIM?
I am seeing the FS because i believe there is something not quite right and my DH just gave me a little push to make that phonecall, so its a decision we both made.
Unfortunately i am not breast feeding as i had to stop after 5 days so i don't have the effects of BF.
Hindonly i am sorry we are both here too!! But it really does seem as if we are in the same boat with to how we are feeling at the moment.
Well this morning i have been to the doctors and got a BT form to see what things are happening. He was a bit worried about how much blood loss i had so wanted to check whether it had caused any problems and where my hormones were at. Well i am hanging up in the air until i get my results back at 4:30...just 1hr and 24mins...hey but who's counting
The doctor has told me that if everything comes back normal then i am free to ttc again whenever i feel ready.....i am not sure when that is!
Anyway Talk later
Kristee - good luck with your results this afternoon. I hope you get the ok to TTC. You will know when you ready to try and when you are, we are all here to support you
Wow you guys have been chatting today so here goes, lets see if I can remember everything.
Lynn: I think sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, we remove ourselves from the situation (not physically but emotionally) so I am not surprised that you felt a bit out of it at your appointment today. I can't blame you, you had a lot to take in. Good luck with the first jab on Saturday, I am sure that you will be fine, you are a brave brave woman. Oh and you are under strict instructions to have a WONDERFUL holiday, that is not negotioable, make sure you give yourself a bit of a break and spoil yourself a little. I will miss you so make sure you post as soon as you get back on Wednesday.
Mel: Sounds like you have a Melbournian buddy in Klee, that is great if you can support eachother at the Sids meetings. I know what you mean about public hospital staff being overworked and underpaid but it is just so sad that people who are really in need care can't afford to be treated now and have to wait around. Oh and smarty pants, you are so sure that Lil Spring has a willy but I know you and I am not going to be tripped up you naughty thing. Don't worry, almost half way to finding out...nice try though.
Kristee: sounds like you are getting the tests that you need. I hope you got good results this arvo. When you get a chance pop in and let us know how you are going.
Klee: You probably won't see this until you are back at work on Tuesday but when to start TTC question is one that comes up often. I had a pretty straightforward vaginal birth ( well in the circumstances anyway) with no tearing, cuts or grazes so DH and I started TTC as soon as my bleeding stopped which was about 4 weeks. To be honest, I don't know how we started so soon but I think the urge to have an earth baby just takes over. So for us it was fairly quick. Everyone is totally different and it takes different amounts of time for your body and cycles to go back to normal. I got AF 6 weeks to the day after losing Harry then had two cycles and fell on the third. If you are having mixed emotions about TTC that is totally normal, I cried so many times because I felt I was dishonering Harry. But that isn't the case, he knows I love him and that he will always bee my first born. Good luck with the decision.
Hindonly: I hope you and your DD had a great day at Crazy Critters, I can't wait to be a mum of an earth baby and do those sort of things. I am glad that you are feeling welcome, we are all here for you so share as little or as much as you feel you want to.
Deb: How are you feeling today? It might be a stupid question but do you continue taking Clomid during the TWW or do you stop after O? I hope that you are feel happy and that the TWW is just flying by.
Well I am looking so forward to this weekend. DH is coming home and it is his B'day on Sunday. I just did the shopping for the weekend and got goodies. We are going out to dinner and a movie on Saturday night and I am making Bacon, Eggs and Hashbrowns for Breaky on Sunday (his favourties) I am also making a double layered chocolate cake with freash whipped cream and Flake chocolate bar sprinkled all over it. Trust me, it is going to be a fat weekend in this house. I just love him so much so I can't wait to spoil him.
Then I have my 19 week scan next Tuesday which is going to have sensational results (see positive thinking) and then I drive to Canberra for Anzac day, I am staying there for two nights and driving back on Thursday so I only have to work two days next week YIPPIE!!! I really feel like I need the break. I can't wait.
Anyway, I haven't even thought about dinner yet so I think it will be an orange and a peanut butter sanger. Just what every pregnant woman needs (not)
To everyone I have missed, sending you huge huggles.
Hey there everyone - I so hate working, I miss out on so much here during the day!
Klee - Wow I didnt realise you were from Melbourne - It would be nice to meet up at the meeting. I dont know why I am nervous, I just am. How have you found the counselling they provide over the phone and the 1 on 1's? I havent had any counselling since I had Nicholas, I did have 2 visits with a psych but they werent helpful (felt like she watched the clock the whole time and billed me $265 for it). I think it will be really helpful to go to these meetings, and to know that you would be there would make is so much easier. Re TCC - Lynn is right, it is such a personal decision and I believe you will know when the time is right for you and your hubbie. You may say no today and wake up tomorrow and think yes, but also you may not wake up for a while saying yes. Personally for me it was immediate, I started TTC as soon as I could (as Lynn said, as soon as bleeding stopped). But then, I am still not pregnant and it has felt like an extremely long journey so far. Maybe sit down and have a long think, and talk with DH, about what you want and how you feel right now and what your heart tells you. Whatever you decide, the time will be right for you if and when you start. If you need time to "heal" a little you should take that time. For me the healing can begin once I have a healthy baby in my arms, however I know others feel they need to take that time to sort through their feelings. The drs I found have differing opinions, some say wait 12 months, others say try straight away. One thing I would like to say to you is that dont let the thoughts enter your head that you are being disloyal to Phoebe if you do want to start sooner rather than later - I only say that because I know each and every one of us here have had those thoughts and I imagine you will as well. All Phoebe would want for you and her daddy is for you to do what you need to do to make you happy, if that happens to be having another baby then that is what she would want. You will never replace her, you will be having your 2nd child - Phoebe will always be your first born
Lynn - Cant believe you are going tomorrow, I will miss reading your posts BUT... I hope you have a really lovely time. As Klee said, take some time for you and have some fun if you can, you deserve it. Hope to speak to you on MSN tonight but if not - travel safely and dont even think about us while your away Oh, and you will be back well and truly before I would get any good news. AF is not due til the Monday after you get back. Good luck with all of your injections, I know it will be tough but you are a tough cookie and will get through it cause you know the outcome - we ALL (incl. Deb) get BFP's in the next few weeks - how awesome would that be!
Deb - We do have irrational thoughts though, like the other week when a lady at work left on maternity leave I thought to myself hmmm dont count your chickens before they're hatched - admittedly it was partly sour grapes but I really do believe you just never know what is waiting around the corner now. I know it is too early for symptoms but I constantly have this feeling that last couple of months that it is going to be a very long road for me - I really hope I am wrong but only time will tell.
Kristee - How were your results? Its well and truly past 4.30 now so spill...
Hindonly - I know what you mean by being ready now, I have had that feeling ever since I was pregnant with Nicholas and I found out 26 Jan last year so its 15 months and counting now... I had a baby, but dont have one iykwim. I hope you get a BFP soon too, I hope we all do!
Spring - Hope they havent worked you too hard today, lil Spring will get really mad at them!
Tommysmum - Hope your doing ok, how are you feeling? Still got m/s? Hope it hasnt gotten any worse.
Hi to everyone else.
Other than my personals I dont have much to say tonight. I made an appointment to have all my hair chopped off (well about 5 inches or so anyway) cause I am sick of being "me" - I need a change!
Your weekend sounds wonderful - you wouldnt mind sending me down a slice of that cake would ya? YUUUUUUUUM! Do you know what movie you are going to see? There are a few good ones coming out in the near future - Absolutely cannot wait for the Simpsons Movie (see big kid I tell ya).
Peanut butter sandwiches are ok - especially combined with fruit! So enjoy
Welcome to Kristee and Hindonly, I am also new hear and the ladies have made me feel very welcome! Sorry you find yourself in a position that you need to be here, but also glad you are here to share the roller coaster rides we are all on. I hope your stay here is as short as possible.
Not much news from here at the moment, but just wanted to say hi.
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Sids and Kids was good. I met so wonderful strong woman but it is just so hard hearing about more babies that we have lost. The weird thing was all of us there had lost boys. It was very difficult for me to talk about losing Cooper but in another way it is good to talk about him and what happened. I hope you are not suffering as much any more. Sending you a really big hug and a belly rub to make your belly feel a little bit better.
I know it is hard and you are right it does bring up all sorts of emotions regardless of whether you think you have a chance or not... AF is a reminder of what we have lost I think. But it IS a good thing, now you can plan for next month and as you said, this will be your last month TTC! The ex would have only got our response today so we havent heard anything yet - he has a phone conf booked for 24th april so not expecting to until then. Hey, how did your meeting go? When are you going away again?
I so wish I could come to your catch ups, I think that I relate to you girls more than I can my own friends now, afterall (unfortunately) we have alot in common. And other people just dont understand and expect us to go about day to day life as we did before. I did hear back from Sids and Kids this afternoon and they are going to get a social worker to call me. I am really looking forward to going to a meeting, to meet and interact face to face with other women who have experienced a stillbirth, meet women who actually know this is my life now and not something I will get over. I know it will be hard but I really think I can benefit from it, although I am really nervous. I dont want to go on my own and I think DH doesnt really want to go (cause he knows it will be pretty much just women so he will feel a bit out of place). I would take my mum but I dont think you are allowed to, so I will just have to get up the courage to go it alone.
) this is my month and yours.......remember we have to graduate together. You sound like me not wanting to go the Sids meeting on your own. I felt like the new girl in class LOL. It was hard but good to talk about Cooper and to share it with people that really do understand. I'm sure you will benefit from it and Klee's idea of going together sounds excellent. You can be new girls together
It seems to have all worked out ok as I will be back just in time for my first BT on Thursday morning. I am going to miss all your words of wisdom over the next few days. Hopefully when I get back there will be some wonderful news for you to tell me :hugs:
we ALL (incl. Deb) get BFP's in the next few weeks - how awesome would that be!
YUUUUUUUUM! Do you know what movie you are going to see? There are a few good ones coming out in the near future - Absolutely cannot wait for the Simpsons Movie (see big kid I tell ya).
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