I really saw a different side to my partner when I was in labour. For everything we talked about, things I wanted her to do for me and the decisions I wanted her to make for me if I couldn't make them myself she was... well quite honestly... useless. She was becoming a parent as well though, you know, so its not like it wasn't understandable. She'd never seen a woman in labour except for on TV, and of course it was ME in labour she just went into panic panic panic 'fix it' mode.

If you KNOW that you're partner isn't going to be the very very very best support person that you need, have a doula. As far as I'm concerned I'm having a doula no question next time and if Shel says no then quite honestly she can go jump, its her problem and she can deal with it because I'm having one end of story.

Maybe you could say "oh the doula can help you support me because she's been through it so she'll be able to tell you what I need, so you don't feel helpless and out of control". Which is how I've said it to Shel. She's still warming to it, but then she's still warming to the home VBAC idea too so one thing at a time LOL.

Just remember. YOU are the one who has to live with the possible 'what ifs' later on if you don't get a doula and things don't go to plan.