Bridg, as I said, this is not really his decision to make. I totally agree that it will help him, too.

Having your mum at the birth can be wonderful. My mum was there when DD was born. But from a support point of view, she would have been useless. Although she herself had 2 vaginal births (1 completely natural, the other one induced), she was totally out of her depth when it came to her own daughter in labour. She was along for the ride, and I loved having her there. But more because it was nice to be surrounded by people who care about me and the baby and to share this experience with them. Same with DH, he was there to witness the process, he gave me to drink but didn't really do a whole lot more than that. Well, neither did my midwife, but that's because I didn't want anything done. I mainly wanted to be left alone.

Don't let him talk you out of a doula if you feel you would be happier and calmer having one. I didn't have one, as I had my own midwife and I was in a birth centre so felt that my choices were supported there anyway. But from what I read, you'll be going for a VBaC. I do really believe that you'll have a much better chance at getting the birth you want by having a doula.

Let's face it, your DH and your mum will not be able to make rational decisions when it's crunch time. All they will see is that the most important person in their lives might be in pain or even danger. They will not be able to be objective and they don't have the knowledge to make an informed decision if things don't go quite to plan.

Befor DD was born, DH was really quite arrogant about the whole situation. I would have liked him to do a ha;f day session about how to be an effective birth support. So that he might learn some massage tricks if I have back labour or stuff like that. He said: "What, you don't think I know how to help my own wife?" Yeah right, he was completely useless in that respect. I loved having him there, and I didn't want anyone touching me anyway, but he was no HELP to me whatsoever. he said so himself afterwards.

So, go get yourself a doula. As I said, if he was the one doing the work, he could make this decision. But since it's you who has to birth this bubba, you need to get yourself the help you need and want.

Saša