Babies Born April 2008 #3

[Beatrix]

Zennie- honey im sorry you are having a rough trot. It is a very stressful time. When my second daughter was 6 weeks my DH and I seperated for 2 months. We did some counselling and things have sorta improved (well i have learnt to put up with him more) lol

Nettie- That is fantastic!! he is doing really well. so he has a cleft palate not lip?? is that correct? so its just on the inside of his mouth.


Sharon- lucky you ont the shopping!! i AM HANGING TO GE SOME NEW CLOTHES BUT NEED TO LOSE THIS GUT. opps caps


well Mj needle time has arrived and she will be having it on thursday. along with her sisters who ae also due.

[Sharon19270]

Nettie that is a really good weight gain forjust over a week.
Beatrix I still have a bit of a gut (not as much of one as what there was before pg) but the fashion of the tops I bought disguise it a little, and the pants are a little snug, but that is my incentive to continue with my weight loss.

After the info from Fire regarding babies sleeping on their backs too much I have pulled out the 'safe n sound' roll pillow and have placed Oliver on his side to sleep, don't think it is wise to place him on his tummy while he is being wrapped, I must admit that when he slept on his back he did usually have his head turned to the side but I can't say for sure that's how it was all the time, and at least this way I can alternate which side he sleeps on.

[Beatrix]

Sharon- forgot to say Mj doesnt sleep on her back. We have been using the roll pillow she always sleep on her side. Wont sleep any other way

[BabyWrangler]

OH what a night!!

BJ has had his first real shocker of a night!

After a very unsettled day due to (I assume) no gaviscon and his reflux hurting, he had a big bottle of EBM (cause he just kept crying, and wouldnt stay attached on me) with gaviscon, went to bed after a few false starts, burps and little chucks, slept on and off for 3 hours (til 3am), had a feed with gaviscon, and has been asleep on and off alternating with rolling around in pain with wind....I think when his reflux is bad, he gulps in a lot of air, so then a few hours later, sad sore bubby.
And now, cause of gaviscon overnight last night and the night before...he's tooshie is all backed up again.
We are off to the Dr today to try and sort something out for him.
Poor little man has been awake basically all night!

[Fire]

BW, did you ever try the slippery elm powder? it sops up acid and thickens the stomach contents.

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[Zennie]

i know its the lack of sleep and its a vicious cycle. DP gets enough sleep as he dosnt get up to Russell at all. however a big problem is his thought processes. we were out all day sat helping his dad move house then raced home so we could go out without russell for a few hours( it was fun and enjoyed it) but then he decided to **** off on me to hang out with my brother so then i snapped a gasket and we ended up fighting cos i wanted him to spend time with me while he could and he was not understanding. then russell was unsettled cos had a ff so was up all night and just wanted some sleep,butDP ****wit mate needed help moving and couldnt start till dp got there so instead of m,aking them wait while i got some sleep he left. and didnt come back till after 4pm.

then on monday he took my car knowing i needed it cos i refused to take him to work ( we share a car atm and he norm has it.) while he was being demanding and sarcastic. really stupid stunt as then had to get a lift out to work 45min hour drive o get my car. he picked up clothes monday night and have not heard from him since.

it all could have been avoided if hed been less preoccupied with what everyone else needed and taken a look in my direction and let me get some extra sleep in and de stress....

stupid stupid man- now i question whether its worth having him back despite him promising that when he comes back it will be the best its ever been

[Beatrix]

Zennie- some men really have no idea what it is to be a family, and by the sound of it your Partner needs some adjusting. The couselling helpe us in that way as basically the cousellor told my DH that what i was expecxting wasnt to much and he was being irresponsible. so yeah told him to pull his socs up. Maybe if you can get someone else apart from you to tell him what it is to be a dad it migt help. cause then its ust not you nagging. hugs to you hun

[alittlegrubi]

Zennie That's men for you. I've had arguments with DH about priorities. Now that they are fathers they need to put their family first, they need to realise they have responsibilities, but some just don't. The woman is always the one who makes the changes and sacrifices. Still the best way to deal with that is to calmly talk about it - maybe with some sarcasim, but calmly. Try to put him in your situation. Ask how would you feel if I did describe what he did wrong. And if that doesn't work, then yeah I'd go with Beatrix's suggestion. However, if you get just someone you know to tell him, try to make it one of his friends that understands as opposed to one of yours.

[Zennie]

he stayed with our friends last night(grapevine) who have a 1 yr old instead of his ****wit mate so was comforted knowing that hes talking to someone whos been there and working through it apposed to those looking through the window and have no clue. Shavon and chris seem to think they knocked some sense into him but i dont know whether that means he realising the errors of his ways and wants to talk or if he will just dwell some more. i know i am up and down but atm i feel empowered on my own. My mum had Russell last night for a few hours and my close mates just rallied round and help pick me up and we slept better for it . i talked and cryed and theorised and laughed. though ifeel empowered now , i know i will feel defeated later if it all goes down the gurgler

[Fire]

Kira, I just saw your post. *hug* I wish I had some words of wisdom but some men really take a lot of adjusting. Or should I say, they need a good kick in the freakin' pants. Hope you don't mind me saying so but your DH is being unreasonable. You are a strong woman, remember that, and he should be made aware of the gifts he has. The first year is a write off, really, even though it gets easier, parents just glue together to survive it. It really challenges any relationship's metal, so to make it through, he has got to stop worrying about his mates altogether and focus on what he has created with you, your life, your son, your relationship, you. Don't start thinking PND though, because it doesnt' have to go that way. Feeling low because of stress isn't depression, remember that. That is simply a normal reaction to stress. Depression is feeling seriously low and out of control for NO apparent reason. You have plenty of reason.

Blessings to you, and I hope you all find your way soon.

[bellelass]

wow how do you all find time to post? everysecond of my free time goes to sleep or TRYING not to drown under th onslaught of filthy washing and dust and dishes. i wish i could ignore it but dirty house bothers me more than sleep deprivation...

Kira- It can be hard, especially when they (we do too!) want to feel young and like they still have lives. My DH is a little bit the same way.. He doesn't get up with Lila in the middle of the night (rightly so, he's got uni) and he still has something of a social life and doesnt understand why I get upset when he goes out. Granted, he goes out fora few hours early in the evening usually, but still. He gets to be a grown-up. All I can recommend is talking to him... ?

Mgm- I didn't have a caesar, but this baby is so hard on my back. I try to make sure I'm using good posture 100% of the time but its still so wearing. No idea what to do about it besides a little cat-cow-cobra yoga, I'm just hanging in there in the hopes it all gets better.

Janine- I feel the same way about babies, though my heart does melt a little lately when she looks deep into my eyes and gives me a big gummy grin. And she's starting to make little pre-talking sorting-things-out vowel sounds. Just a bit but its a start.

we're still fighting thrush here, have had 2 rounds of nilstat drops with little change. so i'm using my trusty old hand pump still, and being a nazi about sterilizing everything that comes near her mouth. it's getting old, i'd rather just be able to put her to breast but she gives my nipples thrush and its excruciating. if it doesn't clear up i guess its back to the dr.

Despite that, she's getting so big. And I finally managed to get her into the sling today, she liked it and fell asleep while I did some chores. Fantastic. Then DH finally got up and I handed her over so I could get some sleep. I'd been letting her fall asleep on my chest (after burping) and then transferring her to the bed or her bassinet (yes I caved and got one) on her back.she doesnt really sleep well like that. we visited dh's parents a few weekends ago and Mil had Lila sleeping on her tummy. She was so much happier and better settled. MIL put her kids on their tummies and they all managed to make it to adulthood, so I've been letting her tummy sleep some lately.

Sleep... Ah. I get kind of jealous of DH's sleep, esp when I haven't had much and get stroppy about it. Sometimes it just feels like I have to do everything, which is crazy because he helps out so much and cleans house and cooks sometimes and right now is sleeping under Lila while i have a break.

As for body... I'm getting really thin, like ugly thin despite eating well. I eat good food and heaps of it. You wouldn't be able to tell from looking that I had a baby, which sounds like a good thing but it kind of freaks me out. Not a mark on me. Its just bizarre. Here I was all ready to sacrifice my body on the holy altar of motherhood and nothing. (tongue in cheek a little there)

I'm well mentally really upbeat to be honest and I love my little Lila-bear. Its finally happened, the love thing. I think it has something to do with the way she looks round for me and smiles when I kiss her tummy. Something like that...

Anyone who is planning to use cloth nappies still in sposies? I'm working on making the transition to old fashioned towelling and covers, I just haven't completed it. Kind of feel bad, I'd pictured myself cloth diapering, breastfeeding and babywearing and it hasn't worked out like that at all yet. Oh well, my baby is fat and happy.