Babies Born April 2008 #3

[Fire]

Oh Nettie! You're a muso! I come from a long line of musos, and my 10 yo niece also plays the viola. I have four brothers, one drummer, a guitarist and a basist (the fourth is an artist). I'm getting DD into keyboard lessons this year.

They've found that babies heads get misshapen from constant back laying as the skull is still forming. It isn't good to be in only one position for a year or so, which is what some infants get put through from the SIDS stuff by their parents. Well meaning parents, but still. Imagine sleeping only on your back for a year? The best research so far shows that it is linked to bacteria in second hand mattresses (hence more second babies die of SIDS). So tummy sleeping puts them directly in line with that bacteria. Basically, if you have clean stuff, they're safe, because as long as they can turn their heads out of the way of any blockages, they will be safe (babies usually prefer tummy sleeping). For personal protection I must add: I do not recommend this. SIDS is not death by suffocation, they don't know what SIDS is. They do know that it is much more common in the western countries.

[alittlegrubi]

Ventured down to the community health clinic today and had Greer weighed - she has put on 760grams in 2 weeks, now up to 4.26kg. Won't be long before she is out of the 000 clothes and people are still giving me newborn clothing My community health nurse doesn't do length or HC so I don't know how much she has grown in the past month. Guess that is because the WA Dept of Health have removed those statistics from the personal health record book that they provide at birth. Should try to work it out some time.

Sorry missing out on personal messages today - am going to get an hour of sleep in before cooking dinner and picking up DS from daycare.

[Zennie]

Need Info about my stress affecting baby!

long story short stress caused dp and i over the edge and know he is staying elsewhere and i am alone with russell and a complete mess. we didnt split but am not coping with i all and dont want pnd but think i am there anyway. how do ipull myself up and keep going. please help me

[mgm]

oh Zennie i'm so sorry - how difficult for you at this demanding time . can you ask DP to show up for a few hours a day to help? call on whatever assistance you can - family, friends, anyone, so you're not so overwhelmed. in my opinion you shouldn't worry about pnd and what effect your stress is having on baby - as long as you're able to fulfil basic needs all will be fine. the most important thing is just to do whatever you can to get through until the dust settles and you know where you stand with DP etc. take it one day at a time.

Sharon good luck coping on your own! Hope all goes smoothly and you have a good n ight.

Nettie you're obviously doing brilliantly with DS. Just shows, 'they' don't always know what's best and what's possible!

Grubi that sounds a good weight gain, well done.

Fire I'm not bothering with tummy time at this stage either. there's no way DD will enjoy lying on her stomach on the floor, and like your DS she gets more than enough tummy-to-chest time to practise lifting her head!

Those of you who've had caesars, are you finding your back gets sore from carrying baby? Hving my abs sliced through seems to have made me prone to back pain.

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Sharon,
My problem is exactly as you described, to me, if a bub vomits while on their back they risk choking on it...Ive always had that opinion even before I was pregnant, and now with BJ being a bit of a chucker with the reflux, I feel that way even more so.

Unfortunately tummy sleeping didnt work, he got quite upset, and also our plan for medication balancing didnt work, he's been really upset after feeds today and looking uncomfortable when he cries (as opposed to just looking like he's crying to get picked up)..so I've booked in to see the Dr again tomorrow to see if we can get something else for the reflux that won't clog his little tushie up.

Sharon were you breast feeding at all with Oliver? or did he go straight onto formula? (just looking at options for reflux...would prefer to keep feeding if I can, but if its best for him to go onto formula I will do it).
Good luck tonight on your own, I'm sure you will be absolutely fine...and whilst its scarey that DH cant come straight back if needed, if it all goes pear shaped, at least you know he'll be back tomorrow (rather than away for weeks or something!)

[alittlegrubi]

Zennie generally the stress is generated by a lack of sleep. If both you and your DP were not getting enough sleep then it will send you over the edge. The c-section will be making it harder for you too. Having a new baby is difficult as it means you have to adjust in so many ways to fit someone else into your life.
To begin with try to forget about all the things that need to be done, worry about yourself and Russell. When he sleeps you sleep - even if it is only for 15 minutes. Get yourself fish oil tablets and vitamin b tablets - take them religiously. Eat sardines and tuna etc, foods with omega3s at least once a day.
Like MGM said If you can get people to help with the things you are not getting done or ask them to look after Russell for a couple of hours whilst you sleep.
The other thing I would suggest is that you take the time to write down, even in a thread here if need be about why you are stressed out and how you feel about DP and Russell. I went through a similar phase when DS was 16 months old working fulltime and not getting a full night's sleep. I went to a counsellor, but I did more for myself, by working out what was causing the stress. For me it was that I had lost the control of my life that I used to have before having a baby. I no longer knew where we were at financially, things that had places had loist there place and I couldn't find papers etc when I wanted them - I'd yell at DH even though it was me that had misplaced them. I eventually worked out that I thought I was failing because I had lost control and my mother always had her house spotless etc. I spoke to my mum and she said, yes but she wasn't working and we were older than my DS. I then worked on getting my house back in order one room at a time.
If it is the crying that is causing you stress, go with Fire's advise, realise that they have to let it out and talk softly into Russell's ear, cry with him if you need to.
If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me

[Sharon19270]

Zennie I have to say 'ditto' to what mgm said, a newborn can add a lot of stress to a relationship, to you and I hope that things get sorted out with you and your DP
mgm we managed just fine tonight, even though I cheated slightly and got Jordan McDonald's for dinner, it was one less thing for me to have to think about.
BabyWrangler I only managed to suffer the pain of BF for 36 hours after Oliver's birth (you would think that after pushing such a big bubs out with no pain meds I could handle some excruciating nipple pain) I can vaguely remember (although it was quite a few years ago) that you can buy just the thickener, now i'm not sure how it actually works, whether, you can mix up a little of the powder with EBM and give before a feed, or mix with EBM and bottle feed, or if it is just to be added to other brands of formula, but I am sure that you won't have to give up BF because of the reflux, you may need to see a paediatrician about bub's reflux though instead of just your GP. We managed fine tonight, I really surprised myself

I had a bit of a splurge on some clothes today (actually it was only 'Millers'), I bought 2 pairs of pants and 3 nice trendy tops, I can't believe that I can fit into a size 14 pants and a Large top where before I got pg I was wearing 16-18 pants and XL-XXL tops (depending on the brand) all I need to do now is some exercise to get rid of the last of my belly.

[Nettie]

MGM - thank you! We're so lucky that he's such a good little boy!

Janine - I am merely a student of music! Have been learning Violin for about 2 years (but sadly haven't picked it up in months) so it's just a hobby. I love Violas too but DH won't let me buy multiple instruments! I was only talking about having a 'fiddle' the other day! Must get it out and re-tune it (bound to be out of tune) and have a bit of a go!

Zennie - BIG to you. DH & I were snapping at each other on Saturday and since getting some extra sleep, are good again. I'm sure all of us are 'not coping' in some way or another, so we can all feel empathy with you. I don't know that I can provide any further advice than others already have except to make sure you get out of the house once a day - even if it's only in the garden. Fresh air and sunshine are fabulous antidepressants - as are oats (have some porridge!) and lemon scented/flavoured things. I hope it all works out for you. Maybe use this time to really bond with your little one and value the time as 'yours' together. Easier said than done though, I know! I'm sure everyone here joins me in a big for you...

Went to CYH today & weighed Liam - he's now just over 4 kgs!! I think this is a weight gain of 250 gms in just over a week. He's also grown about 1/2 centremetre in length. Clever boy! Clefty babies are notorious for slow weight gain (as they have to work harder to feed and burn more calories doing so) so I am VERY proud of my little man!

[Beatrix]

Zennie- honey im sorry you are having a rough trot. It is a very stressful time. When my second daughter was 6 weeks my DH and I seperated for 2 months. We did some counselling and things have sorta improved (well i have learnt to put up with him more) lol

Nettie- That is fantastic!! he is doing really well. so he has a cleft palate not lip?? is that correct? so its just on the inside of his mouth.


Sharon- lucky you ont the shopping!! i AM HANGING TO GE SOME NEW CLOTHES BUT NEED TO LOSE THIS GUT. opps caps


well Mj needle time has arrived and she will be having it on thursday. along with her sisters who ae also due.

[Sharon19270]

Nettie that is a really good weight gain forjust over a week.
Beatrix I still have a bit of a gut (not as much of one as what there was before pg) but the fashion of the tops I bought disguise it a little, and the pants are a little snug, but that is my incentive to continue with my weight loss.

After the info from Fire regarding babies sleeping on their backs too much I have pulled out the 'safe n sound' roll pillow and have placed Oliver on his side to sleep, don't think it is wise to place him on his tummy while he is being wrapped, I must admit that when he slept on his back he did usually have his head turned to the side but I can't say for sure that's how it was all the time, and at least this way I can alternate which side he sleeps on.

[Beatrix]

Sharon- forgot to say Mj doesnt sleep on her back. We have been using the roll pillow she always sleep on her side. Wont sleep any other way

[BabyWrangler]

OH what a night!!

BJ has had his first real shocker of a night!

After a very unsettled day due to (I assume) no gaviscon and his reflux hurting, he had a big bottle of EBM (cause he just kept crying, and wouldnt stay attached on me) with gaviscon, went to bed after a few false starts, burps and little chucks, slept on and off for 3 hours (til 3am), had a feed with gaviscon, and has been asleep on and off alternating with rolling around in pain with wind....I think when his reflux is bad, he gulps in a lot of air, so then a few hours later, sad sore bubby.
And now, cause of gaviscon overnight last night and the night before...he's tooshie is all backed up again.
We are off to the Dr today to try and sort something out for him.
Poor little man has been awake basically all night!

[Fire]

BW, did you ever try the slippery elm powder? it sops up acid and thickens the stomach contents.

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[Zennie]

i know its the lack of sleep and its a vicious cycle. DP gets enough sleep as he dosnt get up to Russell at all. however a big problem is his thought processes. we were out all day sat helping his dad move house then raced home so we could go out without russell for a few hours( it was fun and enjoyed it) but then he decided to **** off on me to hang out with my brother so then i snapped a gasket and we ended up fighting cos i wanted him to spend time with me while he could and he was not understanding. then russell was unsettled cos had a ff so was up all night and just wanted some sleep,butDP ****wit mate needed help moving and couldnt start till dp got there so instead of m,aking them wait while i got some sleep he left. and didnt come back till after 4pm.

then on monday he took my car knowing i needed it cos i refused to take him to work ( we share a car atm and he norm has it.) while he was being demanding and sarcastic. really stupid stunt as then had to get a lift out to work 45min hour drive o get my car. he picked up clothes monday night and have not heard from him since.

it all could have been avoided if hed been less preoccupied with what everyone else needed and taken a look in my direction and let me get some extra sleep in and de stress....

stupid stupid man- now i question whether its worth having him back despite him promising that when he comes back it will be the best its ever been

[Beatrix]

Zennie- some men really have no idea what it is to be a family, and by the sound of it your Partner needs some adjusting. The couselling helpe us in that way as basically the cousellor told my DH that what i was expecxting wasnt to much and he was being irresponsible. so yeah told him to pull his socs up. Maybe if you can get someone else apart from you to tell him what it is to be a dad it migt help. cause then its ust not you nagging. hugs to you hun

[alittlegrubi]

Zennie That's men for you. I've had arguments with DH about priorities. Now that they are fathers they need to put their family first, they need to realise they have responsibilities, but some just don't. The woman is always the one who makes the changes and sacrifices. Still the best way to deal with that is to calmly talk about it - maybe with some sarcasim, but calmly. Try to put him in your situation. Ask how would you feel if I did describe what he did wrong. And if that doesn't work, then yeah I'd go with Beatrix's suggestion. However, if you get just someone you know to tell him, try to make it one of his friends that understands as opposed to one of yours.