Babies Born April 2008 #3

[Nettie]

MGM - thank you! We're so lucky that he's such a good little boy!

Janine - I am merely a student of music! Have been learning Violin for about 2 years (but sadly haven't picked it up in months) so it's just a hobby. I love Violas too but DH won't let me buy multiple instruments! I was only talking about having a 'fiddle' the other day! Must get it out and re-tune it (bound to be out of tune) and have a bit of a go!

Zennie - BIG to you. DH & I were snapping at each other on Saturday and since getting some extra sleep, are good again. I'm sure all of us are 'not coping' in some way or another, so we can all feel empathy with you. I don't know that I can provide any further advice than others already have except to make sure you get out of the house once a day - even if it's only in the garden. Fresh air and sunshine are fabulous antidepressants - as are oats (have some porridge!) and lemon scented/flavoured things. I hope it all works out for you. Maybe use this time to really bond with your little one and value the time as 'yours' together. Easier said than done though, I know! I'm sure everyone here joins me in a big for you...

Went to CYH today & weighed Liam - he's now just over 4 kgs!! I think this is a weight gain of 250 gms in just over a week. He's also grown about 1/2 centremetre in length. Clever boy! Clefty babies are notorious for slow weight gain (as they have to work harder to feed and burn more calories doing so) so I am VERY proud of my little man!

[Beatrix]

Zennie- honey im sorry you are having a rough trot. It is a very stressful time. When my second daughter was 6 weeks my DH and I seperated for 2 months. We did some counselling and things have sorta improved (well i have learnt to put up with him more) lol

Nettie- That is fantastic!! he is doing really well. so he has a cleft palate not lip?? is that correct? so its just on the inside of his mouth.


Sharon- lucky you ont the shopping!! i AM HANGING TO GE SOME NEW CLOTHES BUT NEED TO LOSE THIS GUT. opps caps


well Mj needle time has arrived and she will be having it on thursday. along with her sisters who ae also due.

[Sharon19270]

Nettie that is a really good weight gain forjust over a week.
Beatrix I still have a bit of a gut (not as much of one as what there was before pg) but the fashion of the tops I bought disguise it a little, and the pants are a little snug, but that is my incentive to continue with my weight loss.

After the info from Fire regarding babies sleeping on their backs too much I have pulled out the 'safe n sound' roll pillow and have placed Oliver on his side to sleep, don't think it is wise to place him on his tummy while he is being wrapped, I must admit that when he slept on his back he did usually have his head turned to the side but I can't say for sure that's how it was all the time, and at least this way I can alternate which side he sleeps on.

[Beatrix]

Sharon- forgot to say Mj doesnt sleep on her back. We have been using the roll pillow she always sleep on her side. Wont sleep any other way

[BabyWrangler]

OH what a night!!

BJ has had his first real shocker of a night!

After a very unsettled day due to (I assume) no gaviscon and his reflux hurting, he had a big bottle of EBM (cause he just kept crying, and wouldnt stay attached on me) with gaviscon, went to bed after a few false starts, burps and little chucks, slept on and off for 3 hours (til 3am), had a feed with gaviscon, and has been asleep on and off alternating with rolling around in pain with wind....I think when his reflux is bad, he gulps in a lot of air, so then a few hours later, sad sore bubby.
And now, cause of gaviscon overnight last night and the night before...he's tooshie is all backed up again.
We are off to the Dr today to try and sort something out for him.
Poor little man has been awake basically all night!

[Fire]

BW, did you ever try the slippery elm powder? it sops up acid and thickens the stomach contents.

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Fire,
I've not heard of slippery elm powder, thankyou for the suggestion, I'll do ome research today.
Poor little fella has flaked out after another bottle of EBM (no gaviscon though as still no poo, don't wanna make THAT worse!), grunting and groaning and folding himself in half in his sleep though
poor little man....

[Zennie]

i know its the lack of sleep and its a vicious cycle. DP gets enough sleep as he dosnt get up to Russell at all. however a big problem is his thought processes. we were out all day sat helping his dad move house then raced home so we could go out without russell for a few hours( it was fun and enjoyed it) but then he decided to **** off on me to hang out with my brother so then i snapped a gasket and we ended up fighting cos i wanted him to spend time with me while he could and he was not understanding. then russell was unsettled cos had a ff so was up all night and just wanted some sleep,butDP ****wit mate needed help moving and couldnt start till dp got there so instead of m,aking them wait while i got some sleep he left. and didnt come back till after 4pm.

then on monday he took my car knowing i needed it cos i refused to take him to work ( we share a car atm and he norm has it.) while he was being demanding and sarcastic. really stupid stunt as then had to get a lift out to work 45min hour drive o get my car. he picked up clothes monday night and have not heard from him since.

it all could have been avoided if hed been less preoccupied with what everyone else needed and taken a look in my direction and let me get some extra sleep in and de stress....

stupid stupid man- now i question whether its worth having him back despite him promising that when he comes back it will be the best its ever been

[Beatrix]

Zennie- some men really have no idea what it is to be a family, and by the sound of it your Partner needs some adjusting. The couselling helpe us in that way as basically the cousellor told my DH that what i was expecxting wasnt to much and he was being irresponsible. so yeah told him to pull his socs up. Maybe if you can get someone else apart from you to tell him what it is to be a dad it migt help. cause then its ust not you nagging. hugs to you hun

[alittlegrubi]

Zennie That's men for you. I've had arguments with DH about priorities. Now that they are fathers they need to put their family first, they need to realise they have responsibilities, but some just don't. The woman is always the one who makes the changes and sacrifices. Still the best way to deal with that is to calmly talk about it - maybe with some sarcasim, but calmly. Try to put him in your situation. Ask how would you feel if I did describe what he did wrong. And if that doesn't work, then yeah I'd go with Beatrix's suggestion. However, if you get just someone you know to tell him, try to make it one of his friends that understands as opposed to one of yours.

[Zennie]

he stayed with our friends last night(grapevine) who have a 1 yr old instead of his ****wit mate so was comforted knowing that hes talking to someone whos been there and working through it apposed to those looking through the window and have no clue. Shavon and chris seem to think they knocked some sense into him but i dont know whether that means he realising the errors of his ways and wants to talk or if he will just dwell some more. i know i am up and down but atm i feel empowered on my own. My mum had Russell last night for a few hours and my close mates just rallied round and help pick me up and we slept better for it . i talked and cryed and theorised and laughed. though ifeel empowered now , i know i will feel defeated later if it all goes down the gurgler

[Fire]

Kira, I just saw your post. *hug* I wish I had some words of wisdom but some men really take a lot of adjusting. Or should I say, they need a good kick in the freakin' pants. Hope you don't mind me saying so but your DH is being unreasonable. You are a strong woman, remember that, and he should be made aware of the gifts he has. The first year is a write off, really, even though it gets easier, parents just glue together to survive it. It really challenges any relationship's metal, so to make it through, he has got to stop worrying about his mates altogether and focus on what he has created with you, your life, your son, your relationship, you. Don't start thinking PND though, because it doesnt' have to go that way. Feeling low because of stress isn't depression, remember that. That is simply a normal reaction to stress. Depression is feeling seriously low and out of control for NO apparent reason. You have plenty of reason.

Blessings to you, and I hope you all find your way soon.