Babies Born June 2006 #48

[New Dawn]

Nic- Things are ment to happen in 3's so lets hope you have seen the last of it for now But it does sound like you have one who keeps you on your toes... Of course you are going to keep running through what happen and do the "What if's" because thats what mum's do we can help are selves so stop blaming yourself there hasnt been a time where you could have done anything else!!! If you can let your guard down when at home,with friend or at playgroup where can you.. The thing is someone must of opened the door to playgroup and seen him get out, or at least not closed the door proberly when they left or a 22mth old just couldnt get out so maybe you will have to ask everyone who goes to please make sure that the door stays closed when they leave.. As this is not your foult you have a runner and those with out one will never really understand how hard it is to keep an eye on them... May is mine she has gotten heaps better now that she understands that it upsets mummy when she just walks away so he will get better.. She now just likes to hide in the clothes racks at the shops and ask in a very loud voice if I know where she is? But that I can cope with running away to look at the new dolls without telling me I cant..

Oh and no BHL wasnt home but gets home on wendnesday, I know I cope so much better when he is home for some reason they dont seem to annoy me as much when he is home maybe its because I know he is there to step in and they dont give him any of the cr@p they give me as always when you make a Daddy mad then you must be doing something big so its wise to listen...

Hope you give yourself a break and stop betting yourself up about this as for one more time ITS NOT YOUR FOULT!!!!

HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY....

[Bathsheba]

Oh girls! Nic, Tali! I sympathsise!

Nic: yes, it's not your fault at all darl! Niall is a wanderer too, more so than Wade or Verity. I've just got to be more vigilant, it's sooo hard i know and unfortunately you can't trust other people to keep an eye out either. Last week I lost Wade at Kinder. It is a very secure place, at least 2 safety gates... but while I was putting Niall in the pram I wasn't watching him and by the time I had finished (Niall was kicking and screaming) Wade had gone. i called him (he usually comes) and I noticed that both gates were being held open by young children for their parents and/or siblings. I thought 'surely Wade wouldn't have walked out with out me..' but where was he??? Not in the playground... not in the classroom??? Where??? I asked every parent around me? "Wade's gone! Did you see where he went??" They kinda gazed around sleepily... ARRRRGHHH only one mum could tell how panicky i was and she dropped what she was doing and said "you go that way i'll go this way!" Well we both looked... no Wade. She had gone out the front to the street and came back asking whether he would have crossed the road... I said "No way!". Finally i remember the toilets (but he usually asks...) and I head toward them... and there he is coming up the stairs (the toilets are downstairs... he is reluctant to go without getting me to wait nearby) and i call out "Wade!!!" he is all confused as to why I am so frantic! but he was gone a good 3-5 minutes... so unlike him. Good grief. With Niall i kinda expect him to wander... but when a kid that usually stays nearby wanders off it's shocking.

We've all been there Nic, (and if we haven't we probably will!) it's impossible to keep your eyes on them 24/7.. your MIL was kidding herself if she watched your DH every second of every day... how easy it could have been for her to console you instead of making you feel worse!

Tali: I know that feeling. But mine is because of my thyroid. It is sending our too many "blood boiling" hormones.... i feel like screaming every day... but now at least i know why. If it persists maybe get a blood test darl (thyroid test). It helps when you know you feel that way for a medical reason. Now i just turn my back on the situation (if I can) that is making me aggro or I say to Wade (who partially understands) "Mummy is feeling angry..." He instantly replies, almost without fail: "Mum, go take your vitamin B" That is his prompt, his contribution to calming me down. I tell him I need to take vitamin B's just to make it simple... it's just one of about 8 tablets i need to take so when Wade gives me the prompt it usually means I have to take one anyhow! If you can tell your kids to say something in particular when you are about to blow your top it kinda helps... hearing them say something in their little voice can pull your finger away from the trigger of anger. And when i do go take a tablet i come back and say "thank's Wade... I feel better now" and apologise and tell him calmly what he was doing that made me get cross.

DD going on camp this week... they need my help.... back tomorrow!

[Smoke Jaguar]

My mum pulls the whole "I never let you out of my sight" and "I never let you hurt yourself" line when Oscar does himself an injury, so it's similar to what your MIL says, Nic! You think to yourself "how could you possibly have had that 24 hour capability?", especially when you know that there were other kids to look after as well! We have decided that we will 'lose' Oscar more than a few times and I have got to get off my arse and get some identity bands done up for him. We saw one in Dubai that an online company does, and when I can remember what it's called and how to get there, I'll be letting you all know!
Well, my birthday weekend has been uneventful, in a good way. We went out for lunch to a local pub on Friday and a semi-forest walk. It was impromptu and I was wearing 3/4 length pants and slip on shoes. Not sure I've mentioned before, but I have an irrational loathing of the idea of leeches. I tried to enjoy my walk, but after screaming a few times and brushing a few of the beggars off, we turned back...even though I said to DP, it doesn't matter - we turn back there are still leeches, we keep going, we walk through them, I was screwed either way! And until we got to a more cleared path, sure enough, I screamed a few more times. DP was annoyed because he doesn't want me passing my fear onto Oscar! Too bad!
Friday evening we hung out with our neighbours at their place and had a lovely evening swapping holiday slideshows. Yesterday my mum prepared a lovely BBQ for me, where my MIL and cousin (and new cousin-in-law!) came. BIL and SIL were invited, too, but couldn't make it. So it was a small affair, with some tense moments, but for the most part my mum's behaviour was ignored. My parents gift was to frame a very large photo that we had ordered from my first graduation - it's massive (was part of a package) and it looks even bigger framed. At the time, it would have looked fine in their stairwell, but now they're selling up and we have a tiny house...gotta find a space on the wall in the study for it until we have new walls and rooms! It's a really lovely gift, especially as it commemorates the end of a very long 3 year degree (as in, it took me about 6 years to complete!!), which has led to study in other areas of interest. WIthout that hard slog, many doors would have stayed shut in the direction I wanted to go.
Anyway, today we decided to clean the house up cos I was upset last night about the crap hole we've been living in. The other options were to take Puffing Billy to the Gembrook market or go to town for the Slow Food and Wine festival. But, really, we need to stop living in a crap hole!
DP has an MRI scan tomorrow, too, so while he's still mobile, I got him to clear out the pantry - I won't do it cos I might find mice and pass out!
He was going to get me a Burmese kitten for my birthday, but we've both had second thoughts about it for now. When we have a downstairs and a cat run, we'll get one. Meanwhile, Oscar is in and out of the back door and our indoor cat would quickly become an outdoor cat! With a downstairs we could shut the cat in there on nice days and leave the upstairs deck door open for Oscar and the dogs. The cat could then go in and out of the bottom room, through a cat door, into its run. That's my plan. DP's cousin will have more litters and we can get one of his cats then. Plus, I need to figure more time for my lovely dogs, just for now.
So, I have suggested to DP that a suitable birthday present is a webcam! Then I can see my niece and sister, and video conference with my cousins in Ireland etc. There are loads of possibilities with a webcam. All in all, I had a nice birthday and even forgot how old I was turning - it probably doesn't matter between 30 and 40, anyway!
Thanks for your message Mel Sorry I didn't reply, I had an Oscar grabbing at my phone a the time and never got round to replying later!
Bath - did you get to MC on Friday?
Without wanting to squish too much into Oscar's week, I'm thinking of joining a Spanish speaking playgroup on Mondays. I could then leave him at MIL's afterwards and get study/horseriding/housework done on Mondays. Turns out my neighbour will be going to uni twice a week, so I may be able to carpool and leave Oscar in care while I do that - either brigade friends or mothers group friends. Dunno yet. I haven't been contacted about a SwiCH (Students with Children) place yet, so I need a plan B. If it's my turn to drive and you're working, Mel, I'll go and visit for a coffee?
I'm missing Ireland and London- at least you knew it was going to be cold and what to wear - this in between weather is driving me nuts!
OK, gonna go back to folding clothes...
Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday.

[MelS]

After reading all the posts, I have to say Nic, you poor thing! What a horrible situation and I can totally understand how upset you must have been. As for MIL, pft! to her. What a totally ridiculous thing to say, we can't have eyes everywhere. I hope you being kind to yourself this weekend and don't worry, we know you are definately not a slack mum!

Tali - as my DH would say, have you got your angry head on today! I think we all have moments like that, going out and screaming can be quite theraputic. Try to keep smiling

Julie - welcome back. Glad to hear all is now well and you have your iron levels sorted out. I am sure you'll be feeling more energized as your second trimester kicks along.

Rory - how was your first week back at work? Love the protective brother, how gorgeous.

Ali - great news with the Gaviscon, glad to hear its working for you. Hope you managed to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine.

Amanda - hope your m/s disappears soon. It must be a killer, I hear Jaspen and Julie talking about it and count myself as very lucky not to have suffered it with either pregnancy. Did you have m/s with your others?

Bath - how is your medication going, do you feel any better for taking it? Wade is so sweet (not for nicking off!) telling you to take your Vitamin B. As for nicking off, thankfully one mother decided to help you out.

Maya - you know I am always up for coffee!!!! And we do have good coffee. Glad you enjoyed your birthday, sounds like a good day and night. Good idea to have a plan B, you might find you need to use it a few times. Good luck starting back at uni this year, I hope you enjoy it more with the reduced workload.

I saw the most awful thing happen today. My GF and I took the kids to the shops, had some atea then went and did some shopping. We were in a shop looking around, when I heard all this screaming and yelling. I looked outside the shop to see people running, I started to worry why they were all running. Next thing I see this old lady in a wheel chair flying along and she hits this car. The car was there as part of a promotion and she just smacked straight into it and flew out of the wheelchair on the ground. My heart just sank, thankfully my GF and the older kids were over the otherside of the shop and didn't see. I heard from people nearby that her husband was wheeling her onto the escalator and trippped, let go of the wheelchair and she just took off down the escalator. It is a very steep escalator and was going so fast when I saw her, and it happened really quickly. There was lots of people standing around and a nurse came rushing over to help. The poor husband came donw and he was very distressed and needed help to sit down. I felt really sorry for him. We decided to move away and take the kids away from it all as they were starting to ask lots of questions. We noticed though, that it took ages for the ambulance to arrive. My GF and I just kept saying how awful it was and we couldn't believe what had just happened. I kept getting a bit shaky thinking about it. I really hope the woman is OK but she would have sustained some nasty injuries as she hit the car with her legs then body. I called DH at work to see if he could check up and tell me anything but he didn't have any details of it. I rang MIL to tell her as she always takes her mum shopping in a wheelchair and often uses the escalators. It goes to show how easy a nasty accident can happen.

[Bathsheba]

Good morning Wade is at kinder, Niall was sleeping here BFing but now he's awake and running rampant... I'll see if I can still do a quick post.

Mel: OMG how awful! Let us know if you hear how she is! I'm relieved to hear the children didn't see it, it would have stayed in their mind for days... Verity saw a car accident once in which a car flipped over in front of us... we were first on scene. Hours later she was still talking about it and role playing what she saw with her dolls and their doll car.
To be honest escalators make me feel very nervous at the best of times. I had a mild phobia about using them as a child. Even now I have to concentrate harder than most people just to get on and off (my brain can't process movement very well i don't think). I see parents using them with prams too and it makes me feel very nervous!!! There are always lifts nearby... why don't people use them? I always stop other mums if I see them heading toward an escalator with a pram at Melbourne Central and tell them where the closest lift is (Don't I Rory LOL) it's just too much of a risk. I hope the poor little old lady is ok.... she will be in my thoughts! I hope you hear some good news too!

back later... don't know where Niall is...

[Jesswith6]

Well the RA are going to be here in 25 mins, so I have time for a quick post!
Mel- Poor lady, I hope that she is ok....makes me wonder why no-one tried to stop the wheelchair!

I haven't had any trouble with my children running off, besides Jack! Jack has a bad habit of just walking off to look at things if they interest him, I've lost count of how many times I've lost him in Kmart in Shepp! I actually lost Bella the other day, Ihad to run into the school to drop some paperwork off, so I parked in the Staff carpark right next to the office. I said to Bella stay in your seat as Pat was asleep, I ran into the office,and ran out, reversed out the driveway and headed back down the street. Started talking away to the babies, looked over my shoulder and only Pat was in the car!!!
Threw a u-turn, and headed back to the school, to find Bella standing outside the office door.She has just moved into a big girls seat and managed to undo the seat belt.So she decided to get out the car and look for her big sisters and brothers.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I can understand, sort of, why you would use those escalators at Knox - the lifts are ages away, not very well spaced out at all and if it's busy, you may well decide to take your chances on the escalator than push through the hordes of people in those narrow malls. Still, you'd want to make sure the brakes work and that you have a wrist strap (for a pram, a wheelchair on a wrist strap would cause some damage!!). How disturbing to see, though.