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Prama i've been wondering if you are ok, we all know how hard you have been trying. When i stopped bf'ing with all my girls around 7 months i felt terribly guilty then so no matter when you stop you have some sort of guilt. If you do decide to switch the guilt does go away pretty quickly (well did for me) so just do what you think your gut is telling you. You need to weigh up how bad you feel from the pain both emotionally and physically V's the guilt of stopping. If you really want to persist then maybe you should see a councellor.
Whatever you decide you are an amazing Mum and are doing the best thing by your little boy. I still have pain when feeding especially with the letdown and the way i deal with it is to focus on something else because if i think about her sucking the feeling is so much stronger and more painful, the mind is very strong. I don't like seeing you so upset, i hope you feel better soon hun xoxoxoxox
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thanks trina - i really dont know how or what to feel at the moment.. my nipples are getting more and more cracked. i've been reading about nipple vasospasm as well. im just tired of constantly being in pain. i feel like i take one step forward and two steps back.
have to go, he's awake now.. my poor baby
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Prama - Honestly just do what you feel best, and you will know what you want to do deep down. I had the same feelings with DS1 I felt terribly guilty because I knew I didn't want to try and BF anymore, it was too painful and causing me real stress and depression. Like you I dreaded feeding time. But for me once I made the decision to FF I felt a huge weight off my shoulders and I knew then I could get on with being a Mum and not stressing out and living inside my head all the time. It comes back to the old adage "Mum knows best" and they do! IMO you've been feeding bub now for over a month, he's already gotten a decent dose of the 'good stuff', it really is better than having none at all. Huge hugs because I do know how you feel and it is a tough time. I hope you get it sorted out soon.
Gotta run Jake is awake.....will re turn later.....
xxx
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Prama, I got the same thing for Jazz's nose. It's helped her to settle well today and helps her to actually have a proper feed as well. Seems that the combination of panadol, the baby balsam and now the drops and clearing her nose is really starting to do the trick.
We had a bit of drama 15 mins before we were going out this morning. Jazz woke and demanded some food so I fed her. Then she spat almost all of it back up, and then did a whole nights worth of poos in one go (she hadn't done a poo all night). Plus it was a formula poo from being babysat.
Her nappy rash seems to be calming down which is good. She seems a bit more comfortable.
Anyone got any ideas about how to treat milk spots or "pimples"? Jazz's face is absolutely covered. They go down her neck and she has some on her chest and back as well. Also has them spreading to the top of her head. Matt's been really worried about them but I've been told by 2 nurses that they are normal. Also by another mum that her daughter had them from 4weeks and they lasted until about 10 weeks (Her daughter is 2 now).
By the way: Bec, great to see you in the March 2008 bubs. I've missed you! We kind of lost touch when we moved from TTC buddies into 2 different Belly Buddy groups. Congratulations on your little one.
Right, I need to put my feet up. My muscles are still sore down there, Can't wait till everything is completely healed, hopefully another 2 weeks. Bleeding seems to have stopped, although last time I said that it came back. Sometimes it stops for a couple of days then starts again but not very heavy. I'm now using ultrathin regular pads. No more maternity or supers anymore :-)
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Prama - I know how you feel. Last night I was in absolute tears because I had to give DJ two feeds of formula hoping it might make him settle from his wind so he could have a decent night sleep. I felt so guilty in giving him formula. I even had a dream that he was angry at me and biting me. It was really disturbingI just felt so upset and depressed because of the fact that breastfeeding is so demanding and there is no break for me. We are the sole provider of food and it is on demand. I don't enjoy breastfeeding, I don't look forward to it either Prama. I have to use the nipple shield with DJ because he can't attach properly. He moans and groans for a good 5 mins before latching on and I can hear sucking and swallowing. I just find breastfeeding boring..... I can't breastfeed in front of friends or in public etc because I don't feel comfortable, especially since I need the nipple shield.
DJ still has really bad wind and even the gripe water isn't clearing it up, it has definitely helped but not totally clearing it. He is in so much pain. All last night and today we would put him down to sleep but could hear him moan and groan, then cry, so he never would have a solid sleep. I was totally exhausted. At 9am hubby said it was time to feed him again and asked if I was going to breast or express or formula and I was that sleepy and out of it that I said there was a bottle already warmed up next to me and there wasn't..... I am obviously dreaming about feeding him haha arghhhhhhhhh
We just gave DJ some childrens panadol hoping that will help ease the pain for him. His belly is still super tight and he has been passing heaps of wind, burping and poo'ing heaps so we know the gripe water is helping, but still in heaps of pain.
Do you know if we can take our bubs to doctor without having them on Medicare Card??? I haven't had a chance to get DJ added to our card and if he gets really bad tomorrow I am considering taking him to our doctor. The community nurse is coming out to see me on Wednesday, but that is still 3 days away.
Prama - you shouldn't put yourself through so much pain and discomfort, do what you think is best. My mum told me not to put myself down so much about moving to formula for some feeds etc. You are doing such a great job and it is something I need to keep reminding myself about as well.
Better go girls, DJ finally asleep and need to go to shops with mum.
Shell xxx
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Quickly again, almost tea time here.....
Shell you can take bubs to the dr, I did it this week and hadn't even realised Jake wasn't on our card yet. As long as you have put your medicare/baby bonus forms in (I think!) but they can do some kind of search or something and just adjust your medicare number to include him. For example our medicare number has changed with each child, went from ending in a 3, to a 4 and now a 5.
xxx
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The best thing I found for windy days for Cameron when he was a bub was a wheat heat pack heated gently then wrapped in a terry nappy or thin towel and let him have tummy time on it under his belly for a few minutes...if he was crying I would do it and gently pat him on the back or bum. Seemed to sooth him.
Izaak has had one sooky day like that and just did the tummy trick and some singing(with help from his concerned big brother) and he fell asleep....I then transfer him into his bassinet on his tummy to sleep with his head to the side and he loves it.
I let all my bubs sleep at least once a day on their tummy, while I was awake and close by, it also helps prevent flat spots on their heads. Spoke over the years to the MW about it and they said its fine as long as I keep with the SIDS guidelines at night or if I am not monitoring.
Hope this tummy trick can help someone.
Danniellabella - I'm like you, still bleeding and have a clear day and think great but it starts up again. I went to 6 weeks with both previous births. But thankfully don't need those giant pillow maternity pads LOL just the thin regular ones now
With the pimples, time seems to be the only thing that gets rid of them. It's just a matter of their pores to grow big enough to not get blocked (Millia my doc told me they are called). But I noticed with the kids that if they were hot or a little too warm, they were more noticeable on their faces. If they were not overheated or screaming/crying they kinda disappeared from sight but I could still feel them on my finger tips IYKWIM.
Shell - Yeah like Becstar said. Good luck with the docs tomorrow.
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*hugs* for you prama you poor thing. Talk is good and the fact that you recognise that you may need to chat is good too I do hop eyou can get tot alk to someone soon its always better if its someone else not your mum or huby or friends ans there is no judgment and you feel like you can talk freely.I think you have been amazing in your persistance in feeding lakshman and I dont know that I could have gone on this long in such pain.I know its easy for me to say hun but being un happy about feeding isnt good for etiher of you nad it must me so hard feeling this way each time you feed given its such a big part of the day. Do what you feel is right..I am not sure ifyou are needing someone to just say its ok to ff full time or if you are not at that point yet but I do hope you find some releif. I do hate reading how upset it makes you and I am gllad you can share it with us.I still struggle a bit with the combo feeding and wondering if I am doing the right thing and as trian said I think the guilt will alway sort of remain..but when they are fed happy, growing and sleeping well its all worth it. DO take care ofyou to sweet so that you can enjoyou your gorgeous little boy you realy are doing an amazing job with him.
Danni I am with you on the still bleeding alitle then it goes and starts again ALso on the soreness. Dont know about you but I Seem tohave days when I feel perfectly normal then others when I feel like I cant move and am so very sore. Sounds like all you are doing is really helping jazz must be so frustrating when they are sick .She is a real cutie your girl.
SHell its horiruble watching them with wind pain isnt it its th eonly time WIll gets upset and it makes me want to cry as its like his little heart is broken. We have started to cut bakc ont he grip ewater to just every second feed and to top him up more as I htink he is having a growth spurt HE is feeding both sides for baout 15 mins ( all I have) and then a 120 ml top up every second feed. He sleep smuch better after this. He also pooed twice in two days which was casue for celebration *L*
Hiya to everybody else sorry ran out of time his nibs is ready for a feed. Hope the weekend was good and daylight savings doesnt throw us all out to much.
Bron xx
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hello girls,
i rang tresillian, the lady was wonderful and understanding. i told her the whole story from day 1. she understood that i was at crossroads. one option if i really wanted to continue breastfeeding is to go to their residential house but i need to a referral from gp/early childhood centre/lc. but she also understood the pain ive been going thru and said i probably have vasospasm. it's pain that's burning /excrutiating and can be psychosomatic. she said she takes her hat off that i actually stayed bf-ing for 8 weeks. she saod a lot of woment start to wean at 4 mths and im halfway there so it's not so bad. i told her about the pain and depression and not wanting to go out cos it hurts and feeding takes an hr and half.
at the end i guess i wanted some sort of reassurance. you;re right bron, it was nice to know from someone neutral that it was ok to stop.
while i was talking to the lady, i saw steve crying cos of the pain i was.. it broke my heart to see him upset over the pain i was going thru.
so we've decided to stop for now, im still upset to stop so soon but almost 8 weeks of pain is too much. i wish i could have done it for longer but i guess if we had a good start it might have been different.
im going to keep expressing just to keep comfortable to wean, and slowly stop my motilium as you cant stop it immediately, it has to be gradual over the next few weeks.
it also broke my heart when i was warming some ebm and lakshman was crying, i was trying to comfort him and he was trying to get to my breast thru my shirt. he's so beautiful, i dont want my pain and stress to affect him.
part of the decision came from last night. steve's aunt went thru a lot of pain bf as well, but her aunt was a nurse and made her do it. it was comforting to hear her story and that she understood.
well, that's where we are at, right now. maybe the next child, if we have one, it will work out better. i do feel a little better know that i dontr have to go thru excrutiating pain. even as i sit here, my breasts have burning pain.
Thanks so much for all your support and understanding.. it made all this a lot more bearable. i know GPs say that dont do it if it's causing you so much problem pain, they think of the wellbeing of both mother and child.
Shell - sorry to hear of your discomfort too. dont feel guilty.. it was a bad dream but DJ loves you heaps so he;s not going to bite you! I feel the stress of being the sole provider too, that everything's on your shoulders and there's no break. it feels a bit unfair. i suppose if bf was going well for me i wouldnt feel that way.
are you still expressing, you get tons of milk and that helps heaps.
medicare - you will have to pay the actual cost and then when you get his card you can claim it.
we went to put him on our card. steve and i had our own cards and hadnt got ours put together. but then stupid medicare couldnt put lakshman onto our cards cos his name was too long for the system so now he has his own medicare card, lol, 15 years ahead of his time!
thanks for all your wonderful thoughts and support. it means so much that no one's judging my decision... what would i do without you all!
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i have a question that might be silly - this is for mum's w boys... when you put the naapy on, is it better to have their penis facing up or down, or whichever way it is at that time?
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Don't ask me but willy down otherwise they pee up and the nappy leaks. Good that you spoke to someone Prama and that you have made a decision, trust me the guilt will go pretty quick hun and you will be enjoying your little man.
Shell if you can go to medicare they give you a slip of paper that you can use straight away at the Dr. I have been using Donnalix and it has been working well, summer is so much more settled and you only use 0.1 ml per kg of body weight so only a tiny little bit is needed. Maybe DJ is having a growth spurt, when they have one you usually don't realize until after the fact and for me/summer I really thought it was wind at first.
Bron, isn't life different now getting excited over poo! hehehe
I went bike riding with Codie today was nice easy ride but we were gone for 2 hours and now am paying for it geez my butt is sore, used DH bike and it felt like there was no seat, trying to get her a bit fitter for soccer (her request) so everyday either walking or riding, i hope it helps me too!!!
Im off to bed xoxox
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Down, point it down Prama!
When I had my first bub I stressed about wind pain but unfortunately there is not much you can do other than comfort them. Apparently babies under 3 months cry for at least 3 hours a day - seems longer somedays doesn't it!
To all the new mums don't wear yourself out trying to get your bub to sleep longer at night. I refuse to believe anyone that says their bub slept through at 6 weeks - they must have amnesia from lack of sleep.
Have you noticed how they respond to your voice above everyone elses? They quickly work out who loves them the mostnot matter how you feed 'em or how cross you feel at having to get up 5 times a night. Can't wait for that magic first smile
.
Take care
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Hi girls,
Waiting up for DJ's midnight feed then heading to bed, hoping for a better night. So far he has slept well, 2.5 hours, let him sleep on his side (of course with my careful monitoring and would only do while I was awake), it has helped him and he isn't in so much pain from the wind. I have supports so that way he doesn't roll on his belly as well. Hopefully he will have another good sleep after this feed when he returns to back sleeping.
I feel much better tonight, managed to express enough for early morning feeds and a top-up of 40ml just in case. Going to make sure I get some sleeps tomorrow when he is asleep as well. Lack of sleep doesn't help me at all, just makes me more irritable and stressed.
Becstar - thanks for letting me know re: doctors and medicare card. I will see how he is tomorow, he is having a good sleep at the moment, not in so much pain, so hopefully I will have a good day with him and no need for a visit to doctors.
Mumzy - thanks for the tip re: wheat bag. how long would you heat it up for? I just don't want it to be too hot for him.
Bron - yeah maybe it is a growth spurt with DJ as well since that can also create discomfort for them too.
Prama - you shouldn't have to go through that much pain - it is hard on all of you, more importantly you. That is good to hear that the lady from Tresilian was understanding and helpful. I prefer to express and bottle feed, it is much easier for me and my hubby and mum can help by feeding him as well, so it isn't all on me. Yeah the dream was disturbring but it was just that - a dream. I know he isn't angry with me.....My expressing comes in spurts. Sometimes I can express enough milk for 3 feeds, but other times I can only express enough for one feed. so it is a bit of give and take really. It is frustrating that is for sure. I do prefer expressing compared to breastfeeding though. I bought the Nan HA formula as well for when I have to give DJ formula
Trina - yeah maybe he is going through a growth spurt and that is causing him the discomfort. I will find out on Wednesday when the community nurse comes out to see me for the first weigh-in since week 1!!! Well done on your bike ride, wow on doing 2 hours as well, my hubby wants me to get onto a bike, but I told him he will need to buy me a really comfy seat to do that
Teachmum - re: voices - DJ recognises my voice and I am always getting into trouble from hubby and mum when they are putting him to sleep and I talk to them haha
Well girls, I better get things ready for DJ when he wakes up, he is due his feed soon so should be waking up shortly.
Here's hoping for a good night!!! I am sooo tired.....
Chat soon
Shell xxx
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thanks for your supportive words. xoxo
Thanks girls, willy has been up, that's how it naturally seems to be, so no wonder we were getting lots of wet clothes. The top of the nappies are always wet and some times leak out depending which way I'm holding him. LOL. Gee, DH wasnt much help with this question, you'd think a man would know.. haha. I was starting to wonder why the nappies werent doing their job... My mum told me if the willy's up straight becareful, they might pee on you any moment!
I know Lakshman's weeks ahead of some of you girls but now when I give him tummy time, he's starting the move his legs to try to crawl.
I'm going to ring the LC whom i saw the other day. im sure i have enough milk, they come out in squirts when i hand express. the problem is lakshman chomps when he's on the breast. i tried putting him at different lengths of the areola but he starts so suck then cries and detaches. he only wants to go to the sorest part and then chomp..
Lakshman has been sleeping well lately, 11.30-12 he goes to bed and then wakes up at 5, must be the top up formula. but the last few nights he's been waking up at 2,3am. he doesnt sleep thru, he cries in his sleep sometimes so I wake up and have a look. dunno if it;s a bad dream or wet nappy, or he didnt get his booby in his dream.
We get an occasional smile when we make funny faces or baby talk to him..mostly he smiles in his sleep.
the other day at the LC, she put him close to the breast and waited for him to want to latch on. he just had his face close to the breast and had he biggest smile ever.. cheeky bugger.
Shell - do you breasts get sore if you dont express for a few hours. I feel mine get so uncomfy every 3 hrs.
We have a chemist here that has a nurse/midwife come in as well. maybe you could ask your local chemist to see if they have nurse as well, esp if the ECC is slack.
2 hrs on the bike! welldone!! see, with all the feeding taking so long, i cant fit the time. do you girls feed, then go out and do stuff and then come back in time for the next feed?
have you all started doing exercise? im just doing walks and swim once a week. i want to go to the gym once the feedign thing is sorted. bf-ing hasnt helped me loose weight.
do you watch tv when feeding bub? i do, and sometimes feel guilty for not paying enough attention, so sometimes i tell him what's going on tv. and when he's wide awake on his playmat, i play with him a bit but then i have to do other stuff. i feel guilty again not spending all his awake time with him. my mum said you have to teach them to learn to be by themselves or else they'll always want you next to them. and if you're not there, they'll just cry and you can never get anything done.
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Morning Girls -
well i was right, my best friend flew in from the UK with her husband, daughter (my goddaughter that i had not met yet - she is 11 months today) and her Mum.... Saturday was great and they are here until Friday so we spent yesterday together, they are coming over today and we will spend wednesday and thursday together too!!! WOOO HOOO. She booked flights back once i had my 20 scan, can you believe it! Mum has known all this time and it wasnt until the last month that i had any suspicions! Athough i did it to her 2 years ago, i flew over for her wedding and only her DH and Mum knew (for wedding numbers) and i managed to totally suprise her a week before the wedding!
Isabella (my goddaughter) is so cute and we are taking milions of pics of Molly Jane and her together as we dont know when they will see each other next
Oh and she had another suprise, she is pregnant again and due in September! poor DH said - oh no, she started it the first time around and she is already pg again!
Oh i could gush and gush about it, i am so happy and touched that they flew all this way to meet Molly Jane!
Anyway a couple of things to add then i have to download the pics for day 3 of picture taking!!!
WIND - tried the grioe water, worked ok, but alternated with boiled water 5 mls in a syringe, this worked heaps better, so am giving that before each feed and grpe water only once a day and she seems more settled. She is uncomfy when she is tryingto pass a poo and the she is so happy and relaxed (its normally after the 4-5am feed, so i undo her nappy between feeds and just wait and rub her tummy if she is pushing)
Slept better tonight 4 hour stints which was good.
PRAMA - you are doing a fantastic job, have you joined a mothers group? are you having enough adult interaction, this can also help with making you feel better... I am glad that you have made a decision, you need to do what is right for YOU and Lakshman, not what other people think is right.
When we did our BF classes pre birth, the LC told us that the first 6 weeks is the most important and if women were not sure or found feed difficult to try and reach this mark and then stop as the antibodies etc that are gained in this time are the most important and they are so new with no defences... So you have gone past this time anyway so dont feel guilty at all.
Better that you little man has a happy mummy and FF than a sad, tired and sore mummy and BF (in my opinion)
Molly Jane still has pimples, her face is dry too and skin is peling off, poor thing.
Been told that it will right itself soon, and she is just ajusting (someone told me that they call it the 'coming into the world rash' as it is just the adjustment phase!)
Well gotta go, have a great day everyone and i will do proper personals soon - got to tidy the house a bit too -
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Jake sleeps from 10pm to 7am, I call that sleeping through!!!!
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No Lisa. You must be feeding him in your sleep
Your one lucky mummy
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Hi again ladies,
Sorry can't remember who asked but I LOVE my BHB sling, I find it easy to use and great as Ari goes to sleep in it within a minute or so.I do the cradle carry and also the Tummy 2 Tummy position. I also love the pouch as its really quick and easy (non adjustable obviously) and fab for school drop offs pick ups. The wrap is great for longer periods of carrying...cooking dinner etc.
I used a Baby Bjorn Active with DD as she didn't like slinging but all my boys have loved the cradle carry and I personally prefer the more natural carry at this early age....
Sorry for those struggling with breastfeeding.....I only lasted 7.5mths with my first and I would say that at least 4 of those months were a big struggle for me, I also suffered from PND. Thankfully the others have been a much smoother experience for me, feeding has gone relatively well (occasional hiccup) and thankfully no PND.
Ari is not sleeping well at all, sending me a little batty but I have faith things will improve, he is only 3 weeks after all.
We got our first "look you in the eye" smiles on the weekend....magical....if you talk to him and smile at him he smiles and even vocalises back sometimes. I can't believe how quickly hes growing up.
He also has the pimple rash and peeling skin...I have been using olive oil on his skin but can't wait for the rash to go.
all girls - I am a soccer mum too..DS is in the Killarney Vale U6's he had a great game on Saturday but Ari hated it.
OK must go....breastfeeding Ari and the other 2 are making a mess as usual
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