Sarah it sounds completely normal to me. When I found out our pregnancy wasn't going any further I was hysterical. My FS called us to check on us the next day and gave us the option of D&C (best thing I could have done for my own sanity). I had a sense that if this baby wasn't alive I needed to start over - I didn't want to feel like I was pregnant, when I knew my baby wasn't going to ever be in my arms. Just as I was getting knocked out for my D&C I was crying uncontrollably, me FS held my hand and told me it would be okay. When I woke up he came in to check on me and said in his soft voice 'Rachel, you look relieved'. I guess thier was a small sense of relief, I just couldn't hold onto this baby cause I knew it didn't matter what I did - he/she weren't coming home with me. I definately continued to grieve and I don't think you ever really 'get over it'. I still think about my angel baby a fair bit especially around due dates etc. It is such a hard thing to go through and everyone is different. I also sympathise about the clothes not fitting - I was very bloated from all the IVF meds, I just wore my track pants, it felt comforting somehow?
and more Sah.

Take care and be kind to yourself and get extra cuddles from Z & J and hubby too, he will be feeling it aswell.
Rach xx