sarah,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Dealing with such an experience is so hard, but everyday is different. I've found that some tiny everyday things bring relief and some bring more pain. Either way, I've found I often feel exactly the opposite to how I expected to feel. That has made me decide that nothing and everything is "normal" under these circumstances.

I did however have a bit of a cry just before when I realised there was nothing to wear!
Just wanted to say I could totally relate to the experience of having nothing to wear. I lost my little boy at 14 weeks and we were in the process of moving house. I had packed away all of my smaller trousers and dresses etc as they didn't fit any more and I thought I wouldn't be needing them. My poor DH was bewildered to find me so upset over the fact I couldn't find anything to wear that I felt amazing in.

I am constantly wearing all my more figure hugging items since they came out of storage. I think I'm anxious to make it completely plain to anyone who sees me that I am no longer pregnant. It's a bit weird but I feel better in them. I'm just going with the flow.

I also am trying not to judge myself and my own grieving process at the moment. I find that on the days I feel better I find myself coming here. I think it's a bit like picking at a scab. I feel good but then I come here to read my own story again. I think I feel a bit guilty when I start to feel happier. Reading all the ladies heartbreaking stories and re-reading my own tends to make me feel down again although all the ladies here have such good advice that I do try to take something positive from each visit.

Anyway I guess we should just let grief come and go as we feel it and don't worry over it. I thought I had got over things quite quickly but a few weeks on found myself floundering again. Then just as quickly, things looked brighter again. I'm quite sure there will be more ups and downs to come too.

my thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family, especially your precious angel.