Hi Naomi,

The website is beautiful and the service you had must have been lovely. It looks like it was a lovely day with a blue sky.
Yeah it was a lovely day, sunny with a clear blue sky! As we were having the service there was heaps of birds in the tree above us making heaps of noise, ill never forget it!

those are "normal" reactions to the tragedy you have experienced. your body and mind has put you into shock, which works to protect you from the hardest blows during this fresh grieving time.
Maybe you're right! Maybe my body is trying to avoid exploding cause i know on some days i feel that im going too!! Im trying to be strong for my family and responsibilities i have to uphold but i want to grieve at the same time. I feel that i just dont have the time and it hurts like hell!!

Even when we were in the delivery suite giving birth to Cooper it still felt like it was someone else. When Cooper was born, I didn't cry initially because I was holding my son, my precious beautiful perfect son. It was only when he was taken away that I knew that I would never see him again that the tears started and since that I day I haven't been able to stop crying.
The same thing happened to me too. I didnt initially cry when i first saw her, i was holding my beautiful daughter but when they came to take her away that hurt so much. I even cried in front of my inlaws. It was so hard to say goodbye, i knew it was going to be the last time i was going to see her again. It just wasnt fair to send my baby to the morgue and make funeral arrangements. Its my baby, its not the way its supposed to be.

Anyway thanks everyone for your lovely posts. Its great to know that theres people out there who understand what im going through. Thanks again!