Oh honey my heart goes out to you so much i really wish i could give you a proper cuddle if the docs had told me they could have prevented what happened to my DD then i would be so furious and upset no words could describe how you must be feeling it sounds like you need a shoulder to cry on if only they had done that swab i bet thats all you keep thinking about and thinking if they had how everything could be so different right now i really feel for you honey and i ask myself the same question why me you never think things like this happen i think i was a little nieve before i lost my DD i thought it was easy to get pregnant as i fell with my son at just 18 by accident always the way and then fell with my angel in the first month of trying and i didnt think anything like whats happened to any of us would happen to me it has really opened up my eyes to the real world and now i just think negative all the time and think bad things are gonna happen which is why my anixety can be bad at times my counsellor said its all to do with what i went through she thinks i have post traumatic stress disorder not sure if i have said that already and also i have now being trying for another baby for 10 months i never thought it would ever take this long. i think you are right about the 20wk thing they should investigate no matter what as to us motheres it is never a fetus i hate that word it is a baby from day 1 my mother in law said something that hurt so bad she said to me that it was morbid to get pics of my little girl and that she doesnt see it as a baby its just a fetus which is why i hate that word if she only new how perfect my angel looked she had 10 finger and toes and her beautiful little face she was a perfect baby i am so sorry to ramble on i hope you dont mind.

be kind to yourself i am always hear to talk to

Munchy xxx