Dear Lynn,
Thank you for sharing your and Cooper's story, and the beautiful poem. I am so very sorry. I lost my dd at 18 weeks, over 3 years ago. I read a book several months later on "stillbirth and neonatal death", which was very helpful (I think that may have been the title). It was written by 2 people from SANDS. It may sound strange but one of the most reassuring things I read was not to expect to "get over it". That was very comforting to me, because the idea that i might forget her and not feel the pain of her loss, seemed horrible to me. Although I still feel it, what happens is that the very acute pain passes and it does get easier over time. I saw that you posted elsewhere about ttc. I was advised to wait 6 weeks, until the uterus had fully involuted. In fact we fell pg again on the weekend of her due date. I wanted to try right away, but it took a little time to fall. Looking back, I think that was good. It would have been hard if our next baby (Simon) had been due on or near the date we lost her. Since you were ttc for 2 years before, you may not want to lose any time, but keeping Cooper's birth date or due date "for him" might be something to consider. Please do what seems right to you, and I think that applies to everything in your life right now. If you want to tell more of your story do that (one of the hardest things for me was that I wanted to talk about it and very few wanted to know what happened), if you need to cry a lot then do that. We had a funeral for our dd and I went to the cemetery as often as I wanted in weeks after. I still go regularly but not quite as often. It also helped to get up very early in the morning and walk when it was very quiet. Finally, it helped me to watch totally non-thinking movies such as Austin Powers and Legally Blonde. I was able to laugh at them and somehow that helped me get me feelings out.
I hope that posting on this forum will help you too.
Lots of love and hugs your way.