Hi All. I am a newcomer to this site. I will first say that for the first hour I have spent shedding tears that I have held back for so long. I felt so intune with everything written here ... all your experiences are simillar in some way to mine and for once I dont feel alone. I dont feel like I am the only one facing the battle of having a son diagonsed with possibly aspergers. The paed wont give us a definate diagnosis as he thinks he may be borderline.

For many years I blamed myself ... maybe I created this ... If I had of been a better mum he may have been different. Its only through reading your stories I have realised I did the best I could given what I had.

My son Oscar is now 5 years old and has started prep. A month in now and I am starting to feel the crunch. He is such a loving and gentle child, very bright but struggles socially. His speech is delayed and after speaking to his teacher his motor skills arent that sharp either. But he can read already and loves mathematical things.

I watch him at school and its heart wrenching. You can see he wants friends but has no clue as to how to make them. He really tries he does ... its when you see that disappointment and that sadness in his gorgeous face you break into a million pieces. It takes everything in me to keep it together.

I dont know what to do really everyday is a struggle. He has his obsessions which can go on forever and loves routines. If only life could be so planned he would never falter.

Just want to say thank God that you are all here. I feel at home for a change ... there are people out there that know what I am going through. I have had a challenging week and crying and reading this forum has done the world of good.

You all are fabulous parents.